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Maybe Santa Put Them In There

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Romantic | December 25, 2013

(It is Christmas, and my girlfriend and I are exchanging gifts. She is a huge gamer, so I buy her a Nintendo DS case for her console as well as a couple of games. The case doubles as a game holder with slots behind a mesh where it can hold six games.)

Girlfriend: “Oh my gosh! I love it! I can definitely use this!”

(She opens the case and is admiring the inside. She thanks me as if meaning to go to the next gift.)

Me: “I think there may be more to that one.”

(My girlfriend looks confused and looks a bit closer. Sure enough, she finds the mesh can be pulled open and she finds the games.)

Girlfriend: “Oh wow! Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH!”

Me: *beaming*

Girlfriend: “How did they know exactly which games that I play? This is so cool!”

Me: “Huh?”

Girlfriend: “The case came with these games! Look! They’re all my favorites!”

Me: “Honey, I bought the games and put them in there.”

Girlfriend: “Hu… oh… OH… OH THANK YOU! I love you, sweetheart!”

The Thorny Issue Of Christmas Gifts

| CT, USA | Romantic | December 25, 2013

(My boyfriend and I are pretty strapped for cash. It is a few weeks before Christmas time. We are discussing not giving gifts in an effort to save money.)

Me: “You could give me a stick, and as long as it came from you with love, I’d be happy.”

(Shortly after, we go through some drama so I’m really not too thrilled with him, but we eventually work things out. We talk again at Christmas, where he hands me a large box.)

Me: “I thought we had said…”

Boyfriend: “Just open it.”

(Inside is a branch of a rose bush, with thorns, all wrapped up in beautiful red and gold ribbons. There is also a card.)

Boyfriend’s Card: “This is to remind us that love can be difficult, and even hurt sometimes, but is still beautiful and worth the effort. Also, you can hit me with it.”

A Larger Than Life Teacher

| Louisville, KY, USA | Learning | December 25, 2013

(Most of the students in our calculus have left for an honors society meeting. There are only about half a dozen of us left in the room.)

Teacher: “So, then you find the limit as x goes to infinity—”

(He cuts off as he sees the students from the meeting come back in.)

Teacher: “—and that’s the meaning of life, everyone! Too bad I can only say it once.”

(We all applaud wildly and act as if we have just been enlightened.)

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The Advanced Class Is Murder

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Learning | December 25, 2013

(I am a tenth-grade student spending her free period in the library. It is the first week of school. From my position near the door I can see my old French teacher bringing her new class of seventh-graders into the library to check out the books.)

Librarian: “Wow. The advanced French class has a lot of students this year!”

Teacher: “Yes. We’ve actually got twenty-four students this year. I’m not sure what to do with them all.”

Student: *piping up very excitedly* “We’ve got enough for a hunger games!”

Hiding In Plain Sight

| AZ, USA | Learning | December 25, 2013

(I am sitting in my history discussion section, in the same seat I have occupied all semester. Our teacher’s assistant is handing back our quizzes.)

Teacher’s Assistant: “[My Name]… [My Name]?”

Me: *waves hand*

Teacher’s Assistant: “Is [My Name] here?”

Me: *waves hand higher*

Teacher’s Assistant: “[My Name]? [My Name]?”

Me: *exasperated* “[Teacher’s Assistant], I’m right here!”

(He turns and sees me. He blushes as he realizes what has happened.)

Teacher’s Assistant: “Ah, your usual spot. Good place to hide.”

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