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Too Much Gravy For The Brain, Part 2

| Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “Could I get the whisky gravy without whisky please?”

Me: “Of course, I’ll ask the chef to make your dish with plain gravy.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want plain gravy! I want the whisky gravy without the whisky!”

Me: “Sir, the whisky gravy without whisky is just plain gravy.”

(This goes on for a minute or two. The customer’s wife turns and whispers to me.)

Customer’s Wife: “Just bring him plain gravy; it’ll take him a while to figure it out.”

Related:
Too Much Gravy For The Brain

No Produce Reduce

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(The customer in question is our grocery store’s former produce manager. She was encouraged to ‘retire’, because she was caught raising the prices of the produce so her sales would be better. She has a return and a few items, so I do her return and scan her items to balance out the difference in which she only owes me one cent.)

Me: “Okay, your total is one cent.”

Customer: “That’s not right. The onions are ringing up wrong.”

(I look at my screen, and the onions she bought were ringing up 68 cents a pound.)

Me: “They’re only 68 cents.”

Customer: “They are supposed to be 99 cents a pound! That’s what the sign says.”

Me: “Those are for large onions. You bought medium ones.”

Customer: “Well… I guess I’ll take them for that price, but your new produce manager needs to learn how to price things right.”

(She storms out in a huff, and my manager walks over.)

Manager: “Did she just… want to pay the higher price?”

Me: “Yes… and while you’re here, I’m reaching into my pocket to get the penny that she forgot to pay me for her stuff.”

Lost In Their Own Translation

| Belgium | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

(My husband and I are from America. We move overseas to Belgium for his job, and make every effort to learn the native language. I am shopping for a computer part, but am tripping over the technical terms. The clerk mercifully switches over to English for my benefit. As he is helping me, a few native men queue up behind me and overhear us.)

Customer #1: *in French* “Such a typical American; expecting everyone to cater to them and their stupid language.”

Customer #2: *in French* “Can’t blame her. This b**** looks too stupid to learn French.”

Me: *in French* “Looks can be deceiving, gentlemen.”

(The customer turns red and quickly wanders off. The clerk is laughing so hard, he has to sit down.)