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Bridging The Gap In Her Knowledge

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Related | October 19, 2013

(We are driving across the West Gate Bridge in Melbourne for a day trip. I’m having a conversation with my mum.)

Me: “There aren’t many cyclists here.”

Mum: “I’m not surprised. It’s a lot steeper than it looks. I rode up the bridge with a group of friends for charity once.”

Me: “Oh, did you? How did you get down again?”

Mum: “We didn’t.”

Me: “No, I mean, how did you get down the bridge? Did you ride? Or did someone drive you because it’s so steep?”

Mum: “No, we didn’t get down!”

Me: “But if you go up, you have to come down again.”

Mum: “…oh yeah.”

Crushed To Death

| USA | Romantic | October 19, 2013

(I’m having a random conversation with a girl who’s fond of me, and I’m kind of fond of too.)

Me: “I keep asking myself how you crushed so hard on me.”

Girl: “What do you mean?”

Me: “You’re smitten, and I don’t know why.”

Girl: “Because you’re wonderful.”

Me: “Wonderful enough to kill people over?”

Girl: “Ha ha. I don’t kill people.”

Me: “You won’t kill people threatening me?”

Girl: “I don’t know; I’ve never been asked that before. I’m not sure I could deal with killing someone. I might try my best to kick their a** though. Probably wouldn’t get very far; I’m not a fighter. I’ve never been in a fight in my life.”

Me: “That’s alright. As long as you can hire a hit-man, I’ll be happy.”

Liar Liar, Pants On Fire

| VT, USA | Romantic | October 19, 2013

(I routinely chat with my boyfriend on Skype throughout the day, leaving it up when I step away to do homework so that I can read what he has written later. I leave at 8:30 or so, and I return 20 minutes later.)

Boyfriend: “Hmmm…” [8:42 PM]

Boyfriend: “My socks light on fire for a moment.” [8:43 PM]

Boyfriend: “But my pyjamas do not.” [8:44 PM]

Me: *mildly concerned* “Are you actually setting yourself on fire?” [8:52 PM]

Boyfriend: “I’m just burning all the little threads off my socks!” [8:53 PM]

The Principals Of Bullying

| Learning | October 19, 2013

Extra Spitting And Free Shipping

| Miami, FL, USA | Learning | October 19, 2013

(While watching a documentary about Pizarro’s conquest of the Inca…)

Student: “How much does a llama cost?”

Teacher: “I have no idea.”

Student: “I’ll look it up on eBay…”

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