Archive for 2013

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All Buttoned Up And Going Nowhere

| Madison, WI, USA | Right | October 26, 2013

(A guest calls from the elevator to the front desk.)

Guest: “Um yeah. Your elevator is not working.”

Me: “What seems to be wrong, ma’am?”

Guest: “It won’t move anywhere.”

Me: “Okay, I will be right down to check it out.”

(I go to the elevator. The guest is on the first floor, hitting the ‘1’ button.)

Me: “Ma’am, you are on the first floor hitting the first floor button.”

(She was quite embarrassed. I can’t say I blame her!)

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Just Till-ing It Like It Is

| East Sussex, England, UK | Right | October 26, 2013

(A customer comes in at about 2 pm; he is the only customer in the store.)

Customer: “Why is there only one person by your tills?”

Coworker: “Because it’s a quiet period. My manager and my other colleague are currently restocking the shelves.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Somebody should be on every till!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, with respect, you’re the only person in the store. Why would we need all three tills to be manned?”

Customer: “I should have the right to choose who I get served by.”

Coworker: “Well, I could buzz for my colleagues if you like?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to have to wait. I’m busy. I’m in a rush.”

Coworker: “Well, either I can buzz for my colleagues or I can serve you and you can get on with your day. Which would you prefer?”


Coworker: “Ma’am, those are my only two options. My colleagues aren’t at the till. If you want a choice, I can buzz them and they’ll get here within twenty seconds, or I can serve you and you can be out of the store and getting on with your day within twenty seconds. The choice is utterly yours.”

Customer: “I can’t believe your service is so poor. You know what? I don’t even want this!”

(The customer puts down a bottled drink.)

Customer: “I will just have a drink when I get home.”

(By now, my manager and I have heard the commotion. We come over after the customer leaves.)

Manager: “What just happened?”

Coworker: “I… I’m not sure.”

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Earning Your Dinner

| Working | October 26, 2013

It Will Forever Be A Mister-ey

| DC, USA | Working | October 26, 2013

(A customer service agent is sending an email to another department for me. He is extremely slow and quite obviously an elderly man with poor hearing. My lunch break is almost over, so my patience is admittedly growing thin. I am a 31-year-old man.)

Agent: “Okay, so I am… writing him… an e-mail… for you. It says… ‘Ms. Smith called and—”

Me: “Mister.”

Agent: “Oh, uh, yes?”

Me: “Mister.”

Agent: “Yes, what can I do for you?”

Me: “No, it’s ‘Mister.'”

Agent: “Oh, you can just call me [Name].”

Me: “No, I’m not calling YOU ‘Mister.’ It’s ‘Mr. Smith.'”

Agent: “Right, ‘Ms. Smith called and’—”

Me: “No, it’s ‘MR. SMITH called,’ not ‘MS. SMITH called.'”

Agent: “Oh, I’m so sorry, Ms. Smith—I mean, Mr. Smith. Should I call you Mr. Smith?”

Me: “Just fix the e-mail please.”

Agent: “Okay so it goes ‘Ms. Smith called and’, oh wait, I should probably change that to Mr. Smith, shouldn’t I?”

Making A Rash Decision

| Virginia Beach, VA, USA | Working | October 26, 2013

(I have an allergy to latex, which when used causes me to break out in rashes. I’ve known this for years and always inform my medical staff of such. It’s my first pregnancy and I’m having pains. I go to the ER and am sent to the pregnancy ward, with allergy bracelets. A doctor walks in and reads my chart.)

Doctor: “It says you’re having what might be contractions. I’m just going to do a check to make sure you aren’t.”

(The doctor promptly puts on gloves and checks me. It takes me a moment, through my intense pain, to realize she’s wearing latex gloves.)

Me: “Are those latex? I’m allergic!”

Doctor: “What? Why didn’t you tell the nurses?”

Me: “I did. They have a warning on the door, in my chart and I’m wearing the color coded latex allergy bracelet.”

Doctor: “Well how was I supposed to notice all that? That’s not my job! That’s your job. Next time tell your doctor before they use the gloves.”

(She immediately rushes off to send me through tests. For the next week, I had a nasty rash and swelling, thanks to the doctor’s failure. Now, I ask everyone about everything, just in case my many fail safes aren’t enough.)

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