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Should Be A Claus In The Contract

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | Working | December 25, 2013

(My boss is always working on little advertising schemes. Her latest appears to be a ‘dinner with Santa’ deal. However, she neglects to tell anyone who is going to be working that day. I find out on a Friday, a little more than a week before it’s scheduled to happen, by seeing a flyer on the door. I realize that it’s a day that I usually waitress alone. After asking several coworkers and realizing none of them know any more about it than I do, I make it a point to ask my boss for more details. I’m mostly curious to know who she’s asking to waitress with me. I assume it’ll be busy and we’ll need the help.)

Me: “Hey, [Boss]. Who’s working with me on that ‘dinner with Santa’ deal?”

Boss: “Who normally buses with you?”

Me: “Well, [Coworker]. But, I meant, who’s waitressing with me?”

Boss: “Do you think we’ll need a second waitress?”

Me: “Do you think we’ll be busy?

Boss: “I hope we’ll be busy! I sent out a ton of flyers!”

Me: “…”

Boss: “Maybe we need a second waitress for that night…”

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Not A Debt-icated Girlfriend

| Working | December 25, 2013

World’s Best Dad

| Related | December 25, 2013

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Haughty About Being Naughty

| Cranston, RI, USA | Related | December 25, 2013

Me: *to my two-year-old daughter* “You only have a couple weeks left to convince Santa that you’ve been good this year.”

Daughter: *puts her hands on her hips* “Well, I guess I better just give up, then!”

Christmas Lite

| OK, USA | Related | December 25, 2013

(Every year, my mother takes my sister and I to see the Christmas lights in my hometown. I am 17, and my sister is 14. We’ve been bickering for the last hour, as we’re stuck in a car together.)

Mom: “All right you two, that’s enough! I want you to look at the Christmas lights!”

Me: “We are looking at them!”

Sister: “Yeah, we’ve been appreciating them.”

Mom: “You’re not ‘ooh’ing and ‘aah’ing!”

Sister and I: *in unison, monotone* “Ooooooh, aaaaaaaah.”

Mom: “We’re going home.”

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