(I go to the store after I get off work for a loaf of bread I know is on special for $0.88. I walk up to the self-checkout, which is all that is open. However, the price rings up differently from what I expected.)

Me: “Oops. Can you void this out? I meant to grab the one that was $0.88.”

Clerk: “Yeah, okay.”

(I go grab the correct bread, and return to the check out.)

Clerk: “Uh uh, that ain’t the right one either.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Clerk: “That’s the wrong loaf.”

Me: “Okay, I checked the number on the package to the number on the shelf.”

Clerk: *rolls eyes* “No, it’s the one with the white paper on it.”

Me: “I don’t understand what you’re trying to—look, can you maybe just page someone back there to help me, please?”

Clerk: “Uhhh, I can’t just leave.”

Me: “I’m not asking you to—I’m just going to go somewhere else.”

Clerk: “Whatever, I don’t give a f*** where you shop!”

(I go to have a conversation with the store manager the next day. When they pull up footage to confirm exactly which cashier it is, they end up discovering that she has also been stealing from the registers. So, she got fired AND went to jail.)

(I’m new to my area, and I’ve just come across a doctor’s surgery.)

Me: “Hi! I’m new in town, and I’m looking for a GP. Does this doctor accept new patients?”

Receptionist: “Oh yes, certainly! When would you like to book in?”

Me: “Tomorrow night after 7 pm would be great.”

Receptionist: “Okay no worries, 7 pm tomorrow. Let’s get you registered.”

(She takes down my details, stopping occasionally to frown at the computer screen, and to mutter about how she hates computers.)

Receptionist: “Okay, so that’s tomorrow night, 7:30 pm.”

Me: “7:30 pm? Not 7 pm?”

Receptionist: “Yep, 7:30 pm.”

(I’m not convinced, and show up the next night at 7 pm, just in case.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here for my appointment. My name is [my name].”

Receptionist: “Oh, your appointment was for 6 pm. Have a seat and we’ll try to fit you in.”

(I’ve risked returning a few times to the same office, and they’ve never once gotten my appointment right!)

(I am mopping the floor when a customer walks in and proceeds to slip and fall.)

Customer: “I’M GOING TO SUE! You could have KILLED ME!”

Me: “Sir, there’s just two things wrong with your plan. One, I have ‘Caution – Wet Floor’ signs all over the store.”

Customer: “Well I didn’t see them! I think I broke my leg!”

Me: “Regardless, the store is released of all liability because they are out in highly visible places, and you just fell by one.”

Customer: “I WANT YOUR MANAGER, NOW!”

Me: “The other thing wrong with your plan is that I haven’t mopped over there yet. The floor is dry.”

(The customer gets up on his ‘broken’ leg and scurries out.)

(I am in a convenience store, and a young girl walks in with two of her friends. The young girl goes over to the counter and orders a frozen drink. After she has filled her cup, I see her walking back to the middle of the store to her friends, and a large bit of ice that was standing on her drink falls over. She looks up somewhat amused, and we both smile at each other, because it is rather funny. She then walks over to the register again.)

Young Girl: “Excuse me, do you have any napkins?”

Employee: “No, sorry.”

Young Girl: “Oh, well, I’m sorry but I’ve just spilt some of my drink on your floor.”

Employee: “DON’T DO THAT NEXT TIME!”

Young Girl: *slightly irritated at the employee’s rudeness* “Well, look, it’s not like I did it on purpose, okay? It was an accident. I came over here and asked for something to clean it up with so I could clean it myself, but you don’t have anything, and that’s not my fault.”

Employee: *embarrassed* “I’m… sorry…”

(I work in a dollar store that has a lot of varying inventory. It’s not uncommon for people to come in and ask me if we have received a particular item in on the truck.)

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

Customer: “Yes I did. I love coming in here and seeing all the new stuff you get. But I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, if I can’t answer it I’m sure I can find someone who can.”

Customer: “If I’m looking for something and I can’t find it, is it free?”

Me: “I would suppose so. If we don’t have it, I can’t charge you for buying it.”

Customer: “So if I look around and I do find it?”

Me: “Then you found it and it’s no longer free.”

(The customer thinks for a second while I finish ringing him up, pays, and turns back to me as he’s walking out.)

Customer: “You win this round; can I go home now?”

Me: “I assume so; I’m not stopping you.”

(The customer walks out happy as can be.)