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How To Train Your Customer

| Nanuet, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(A shipment of bearded dragons has just arrived at the store, and I’m placing them into the designated habitat when a customer walks up.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

Me: “They’re baby bearded dragons.”

Customer: “Are those considered lizards or dragons?”

Me: “Uhh… they’re lizards, sir.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay.” *walks off disappointed*

Grill The Sandwiches, Not The Staff

| Boise, ID, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(My boyfriend and I are getting lunch from the deli. Standing next to me is a customer, ordering a sandwich from a different worker.)

Customer: “Do you speak English? How many times do I have to tell you? No cheese!”

Deli Worker: “Alright, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why is this taking so long? Hurry up!”

Deli Worker: “I’ll have your order done shortly.”

(The bread on the sandwich breaks, and the employee looks panicked.)

Deli Worker: “Would you like me to remake your sandwich?”

Customer: “Just put the d*** thing in a bag so I can go!”

Deli Worker: “Are you sure?”

(The customer turns to me.)

Customer: “Does anyone speak English in this place?!”

Me: “There is no reason to be so rude.”

Customer: “But he asked me if I wanted cheese! I wrote down ‘no cheese’ and he still asked me!”

Me: “So what? Ma’am, he is trying his best, and being patient with you. You need to calm down.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! What is wrong with you people?”

(I reach up to gather my order, which is now ready.)

Customer: “D*** it, look at me when I’m talking to you!”

Me: “No, thank you.”

(I give the employees a huge grin.)

Me: “Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day, guys!”

Customer: “Why doesn’t anyone speak English?!”

(Both deli workers give me an appreciative smile. The one that made my food runs over to the register and puts a sticker on my plate; my lunch is free!)

Acting Out Of Line

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(I am at a chain clothing store at the mall with my younger brother. A Hispanic family is being rung up in front of us, in the only open line. Another customer goes to the other end of the counter where nobody is working.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange these shirts. I bought two XLs, and my girlfriend thinks they’re too big on me.”

Cashier: “Okay, sir, I’ll be with you shortly.”

Customer: “And I need to return these shoes. Can I return everything at the shoe department?”

Cashier: “No, sir, they can only take care of shoes in that department.”

(At this point the customer’s phone starts ringing, and he answers it. He starts moaning about his day to the person on the other end, occasionally burping and scratching himself.)

Customer: “Yeah, I’m here right now, but I’m stuck waiting because of these d*** Puerto Ricans who are trying to get 10% off on a f****** $10 purchase.”

(The teenage cashier finishes ringing up the family, and since my brother is next in line, the cashier starts ringing him up.)

Customer: “Hey! Why aren’t you waiting on me?!”

Younger Brother: “I don’t know if you noticed, but there’s a LINE.”

Customer: “Well, I started a new line. I’ve got places to go. I’m a rolling stone.”

(Yes, he actually says “rolling stone.” My brother finishes, and I’m next in line so the cashier starts ringing me up.)

Customer: “Un-f******-believable!”

Me: “You know what? Maybe if you weren’t such an impatient, loudmouth, racist, a**-hole and actually got in line, you might just actually get rung up!”

(The customer throws his stuff across the counter, even the stuff he is returning, and storms off.)

Cashier: “Sorry about that.”

Younger Brother: “No worries. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Me: “I’m a retail manager myself, and I was actually quite impressed with how cool headed you stayed dealing with that guy. Very nicely done!”

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line