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A Very Shallow Pool Of Intelligence

| AR, USA | Extra Stupid

(The phone rings.)

Customer: “I need to get sand for my pool filter.”

Me: “Okie doke, how much sand do you need?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “If you look on your filter, it will usually tell you how much it uses.”

Customer: “I’m looking at it right now. It doesn’t say how much it needs.”

Me: “Does it say anything on it at all?”

Customer: “Yes it has a serial number.”

Me: “What is it?”

Customer: “300-L-B-S.”

(I pause.)

Customer: “Does that help?”

Me: “I will have your sand ready to pick up in 15 minutes.”

No Room For Negotiation

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(My hotel is the only one near a very busy pavilion. During concert season, we book up solid.)

Me: “Hello. May I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I need a room.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we have no more.”

Caller: “WHAT! You’re lying.”

Me: “I’m not.”

Caller: “Yes, you are. You have rooms left. Aren’t you still waiting on people to show up?”

Me: “Yes…”

Caller: “Well then, give me their room! I’m here, and they’re not!”

Me: “I can’t.”

Caller: “WHY NOT!”

Me: “Because they’ve reserved that room. I have to hold it for a few more hours. If they still don’t show until then, you may have it.”

Caller: “That’s stupid! You’re just being mean!”

Me: “No, what’s ‘mean’ is if I gave you their room that they booked. How would you like it if I gave one of your rooms that you booked?”

Caller: *blank stare*

Me: “Exactly…”

Caller: “You just lost some money!” *storms off*

(The reservation did show, so we didn’t.)

A**-Hole Tax

Extras

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