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(I am helping a customer with a return. Due to past misuses of the system, our registers are set to only do returns in the original payment method, or as a store gift card.)

Me: “Alright, ma’am, this was done as debit. I can either put it on a gift card, or back onto the same card, if you have it on you.”

Customer: “What? Debit’s the same as cash! Why can’t I get cash?”

Me: “I apologize, but that’s our policy. We can only do it in the method it was originally done, or store credit.”

Customer: “Well that’s just wrong. Debit is the same as cash! Everywhere!”

Me: “I understand, and I am sorry, but these are the only options I’m allowed.”

Customer: *handing me her card* “Well fine, put it back on the card.”

Me: *as I slide the card* “It may take one or two business days to show back up. Here’s your copy of the return, and I hope you have a nice day.”

Customer: *reading her return receipt* “Hey! It says credit on here! I paid debit!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The system has to credit it back to your card. It looks a little weird, but the money is going back.”

Customer: “If I use credit, I’ll be fined! My card doesn’t do credit! That first receipt said debit!”

Me: “Yes, the original purchase is definitely debit. Ma’am, it’s not charging your card; it’s crediting money back. I don’t know your particular bank, but there’s never been an issue—”

Customer: “What is your name? If there’s a problem, I want to know. And give me that original receipt back. It says debit.”

Me: “I’m [Name]. Give me just a second to copy some info off this receipt onto the return, and you’ll have it right back.”

(At this point, the customer is fed up, and leaves without waiting for her original receipt. I staple it to the return, and turn to help the next customer. Several days later, the same customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hi. I was in here a couple of days ago, and you were helping me with a return. I… just wanted to apologize for the way I treated you. I was having a bad day, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Me: “Oh! Thank you! I take it the return processed as it should?”

Customer: “Yes. But even if it hadn’t, there’s no excuse for the way I was acting.”

Me: “Well, thank you. Everyone has a bad day now and then.”

(Her making a point to return and say sorry was such a pleasant surprise; it improved the whole rest of my shift.)

Related:
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due

(I am the mother of a nine-year-old boy. We have switched to homeschooling and are raising a few tadpoles for a science project. Unfortunately, when changing the water, I spill a tadpole into the sink, directly down the garbage disposal.)

Me: “Oh, no!”

(My son hears, and comes running to the kitchen.)

Son: “What, mommy?! What’s wrong?”

Me: “Uh, I lost one of the tadpoles when I poured out some of the dirty water. But don’t worry; I’ll rinse him down the pipes and he’ll make it to the ocean!”

Son: “No! No! Get him back, Mommy! I miss him, Mommy; I miss him!”

(My son starts crying.)

Me: “I can’t; I don’t have a fishing net. But don’t worry; he’ll follow the pipes to the ocean. It’s not far from here!”

Son: “Mommy, tadpoles live in lakes, not the ocean.”

Me: “Uh, well, there’s Clear Lake! That’s on the way to the ocean; he can live there!”

(This seems to satisfy him for awhile, until the next morning.)

Son: “Mommy, I only have three tadpoles now. I had four, and now I have three.”

(He goes over to the whiteboard in our home-school room and begins to write ‘4 – 1 = 3.’)

Son: “See, Mommy? Four minus one, equals three. I want another tadpole, Mommy!”

(This goes on and off for several days, with him either lamenting his lost tadpole, or demanding a replacement.)

Son: “Mommy, which drain did you lose the tadpole in? The garbage disposal one or the normal one?”

Me: “The normal one, honey, why?”

(I am totally lying, as I can guess what’s coming.)

Son: “Oh! Good, Mommy, good! Then he will make it to the ocean! If he’d been in the garbage disposal, he would have been all chewed up!”

(Why he suddenly became aware of the garbage disposal and agrees that tadpoles can live in the ocean, I don’t know and I don’t care. I have been and will continue to be very careful with the remaining three tadpoles. I just wish they’d hurry up and become frogs!)

(I work in a coffee shop that has a drive-thru, and we’re currently in the afternoon rush. I’m wearing a headset, making drinks for my manager who is taking the drive-thru orders.)

Coworker: “Hi there, welcome to [coffee shop]; how’s your day going?

Customer: “It’s alright. Get me a large black coffee.”

Coworker: “For sure! Can we get you an oat bar to go with that today?”

Customer: “A what?”

Coworker: “An oat bar.”

Customer: *angrily* “No, I don’t want a goat farm with that!”

(A customer comes to check out with a basket of art supplies, including a pad of drawing paper. The customer hands me the other items, but stands there holding a shopping list and the paper, looking back and forth between them and frowning.)

Me: “The paper, too?”

Customer: “Will this work?”

(The customer’s list has ’12 x 18′ written on it.)

Customer: “How do I know if this will work?”

Me: “The paper cover says ’18 x 12.'”

Customer: “But she wrote ’12 x 18!'”

Me: “… well, she didn’t specify the kind of paper or the kind of pad, just the size. This is the same size; she just wrote it a different way.”

Customer: “Oh, but, I don’t know!” *very anxious* “How can you be sure?”

(My coworker sees the confusion and comes over.)

Coworker: “Did you have a question?”

Customer: “I’m supposed to buy ’12 x 18,’ but I can only find ’18 x 12.'”

Coworker: “…uh, you should be fine. See, you can hold it two ways, so it doesn’t really matter which side the binding is on. You can always cut the drawings out. It’s the same size paper.”

Customer: “This is just so perplexing to me!”