(It’s my fourth Christmas together with my boyfriend, and we decide to open our presents to each other simultaneously. We’re both huge outdoors geeks. I’ve bought him a guide on the history of Canada’s national parks that I found one day, and knew he’d love. We don’t ask each other what we want for holidays to keep the element of surprise.)

Boyfriend: “Alright! Ready, set, go!”

(We both open our presents, freeze, and stare at each other. He has gotten me the exact same book.)

Boyfriend: “Oh. My. God. One sec, wait right there.”

(He comes back into the room a minute later, gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring.)

Boyfriend: “I was going to plan a really romantic way to give this to you, but I don’t think we’ll ever have better proof than this that we’re perfect for each other. Will you marry me?”

(Of course I said yes. We’ve been married for two years now, and everyone always asks why we have two copies of the same book on our coffee table!)

(I’m in organic chemistry. We’re working in the lab, which is on the third floor. Suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. We all have to clear the building and stand in the parking lot. Keep in mind that we all are still wearing lab coats, goggles, and gloves. As we’re standing there, students from other classes eye us suspiciously.)

Student: “What did you guys do?!”

Classmate: “I took off my shoe and the smell was so bad that it triggered the alarm.”

(Oddly, the classmate’s shoe had fallen off at the exact same moment that the alarm went off. He had to leave it in the lab until the fire alarm was over. Maybe it really did set the alarm off!)

Related:
If The Shoe Fits…

(My wife is sitting next to me working on a crossword puzzle.)

Wife: “Cupid’s teammate, five letters.”

Me: “Satan.”

Wife: *glares*

This story is part of our Crossword Puzzles roundup!

Read the next Crossword Puzzles roundup story!

Read the Crossword Puzzles roundup!

(For Christmas, I want a light-saber so I can duel my older sister, who had one from her birthday earlier in the year. My mum goes into a comic book store to get it for me.)

Mum: “Can I get a light-saber?”

Worker: “Sure, you want a boy-sized one or a man-sized one?”

Mum: “I want a man-sized one. For my daughter.”

(A customer walks into the store, explaining ‘Elf on the Shelf’ to her sister. It is a toy resembling one of Santa’s elves, who sits on a shelf in a child’s room.)

Customer: “You tell the kids he’s watching them. At night, he flies back to the North Pole to tell Santa if they’re being good. Then you put him someplace else, like he moved while they were sleeping.”

(The customer sees that we have the plush stuffed elf.)

Customer: “This is the one they can take to bed. You can’t touch the other one or he loses his magic and can’t fly to the North Pole anymore.”

Customer’s Sister: “How can you move him around if you can’t touch him?”

Customer: “…he’s not really magic.”