Archive for 2013

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Receipted All That Was Coming To Her

| CA, USA | Right | November 4, 2013

(I work at a large retail store. A customer is just about to approach my register, when my counter phone rings. It is security.)

Security: “For this customer, just allow the return, then step away from my counter.”

(That is all they tell me. The customer then approaches.)

Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”

(The customer hands me an expensive bedding set.)

Customer: “Yes, I would like to return this, please.”

(I look at the receipt, and notice it was paid by cash.)

Me: “Okay, one moment, ma’am.”

(I process the return, give her the cash, and step away from my register as if to tidy shelves nearby. The customer walks away, and two minutes later my coworker from another department runs over and grabs me by the arm.)

Coworker: “What in the world just happened? Are you all right!?”

Me: “I’m fine. What’s going on?”

Coworker: “Security and the police just tackled your customer into the lingerie displays!”

(It turns out the customer was a scammer that would come in with just a receipt, pick up the item from the shelf that matched the receipt while a worker was busy, and then return the ‘bought’ item for cash. The customer had done this to 12 other stores before us. She was tackled when trying to run, after being confronted by the police.)

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Hellish Customers

| ON, Canada | Right | November 4, 2013

(While doing theater checks, I am informed that we have some skateboarders using our building’s parking lot and curbs as their own personal skate-park. I am sent to ask them to leave.)

Me: “Hey guys, you can’t skateboard here.”

Skateboarder #1: “Well, where can we go then?”

Me: “I know of a skate-park 20 minutes walk from here at [local park].”

Skateboarder #2: “Can we do a few more tricks here before we go?”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

(The three skateboarders turn to leave when the third, who has remained quiet the whole time, turns to me.)

Skateboarder #3: “I WORSHIP LUFFASIR SIX SIX SIX! What do you say to that!?”

Me: “Luffasir? It’s Lucifer, and I don’t need any more morons worshiping me. Now get the h*** out of here.”

(Skateboarder #3 turns red and quickly walks away followed by his buddies, who could not stop laughing.)

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In The Interest Of Good Customer Service

| Right | November 4, 2013


Not The Kind Of Tip You Were Expecting

| Right | November 4, 2013

Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 2.11.22 PM

A server at a popular Italian eatery in Kansas was shocked to find that customers had left behind an anti-gay message on their bill in lieu of a tip.

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The Owner Paid More

| Gaithersburg, MD, USA | Working | November 4, 2013

(I am standing in line at a restaurant, waiting to order lunch. I eat there often, and the owner has just decided a couple of weeks ago that the restrooms are for paying customers only. A woman rushes in; she seems to be quite ill.)

Woman: “Bathroom. Now, please!”

Owner: “Sorry, the bathroom is for paying customers only!”

(The woman glances at the long lunch line in dismay.)

Woman: “I can’t wait that long. Can I buy something after?”

Owner: “Nope, you have to buy something first.”

(The woman looks at the next person in line imploringly.)

Woman: “Do you mind if I cut?”

Customer #1: “Nope, go ahead!”

Owner: “No, you need to go to the back of the line!”

Woman: “But I need—”

Owner: “To the back!”

Woman: “But I’m going to—”

(The owner opens his mouth to cut her off again, but then the woman vomits all over the counter and the owner. A second customer comes over to support the woman.)

Customer #2: “Since the OWNER said that only paying customers can use the bathroom, the OWNER can clean that mess up. Let’s go somewhere else for lunch!”

(The ENTIRE waiting line of people turned around and left the restaurant! Turned out the woman was pregnant and suffering from morning sickness.)

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