(My dad passes away. My son is four years old. We explain everything to him as best we can, making sure he understands he will not see his granddad anymore. In May, we get a magazine in the mail from a subscription that my dad had purchased for him about six months prior.)

Me: “Look! You got some mail today!”

Son: “Yay! What is it?”

Me: “It is the magazine Granddaddy sends you each month!”

Son: *thinks for a minute, leans in and whispers* “Why is he still sending me magazines? I thought he was dead.”

(I deliver for a large pizza company. Our store is staffed and managed by mature, easygoing people who look out for one another. We recently hire a new manager, however, who hasn’t quite got into the swing of things.)

Me: “Hey, I can run this as a triple so nothing goes late, but I need your password to check out three orders.”

(Note: manager passwords are not a secret, as they’re required to do so many things in the store that, if they were, we’d never get any work done. This manager, however, refuses to share hers, causing no end of headaches.)

Manager: “I’ll check them out in a minute; just wait.”

Me: “The first two have less than a minute before they run late; just give me your password.”

Manager: “I will not. You don’t see [General Manager] and [Assistant Manager] giving out their passwords, do you?”

Me: “They’re [password #1] and [password #2], right?”

Manager: *startled* “You shouldn’t have those!”

Me: “Everyone in the store has them, and now two orders are late.”

(The manager storms over and finally authorizes a triple delivery.)

Manager: “Fine, there, hurry up and get back!”

(I deliver all three, explain to the customers that I am the only driver on shift at the time, and none of them are upset or unhappy about having to wait an extra five minutes on their orders. When I get back however…)

Manager: “Those first two orders were late! Now my numbers look bad! Why can’t you just do as you’re told?!”

(My grandma is texting my uncle about setting up for an event.)

Grandma: “We’ll have thongs ready at 11.”

Uncle: “Oh you get to wear thongs; sounds like it will be a fun night.”

Grandma: “No, THINGS not thongs. We don’t need to wear thongs!”

(Our pet store works with an animal rescue agency that comes in on a regular basis for adoption events. A customer is talking to the agency, holding a cat. She grabs me as I walk by.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I have a question, and I know these nice ladies are really pushing for these cats to be adopted, so I’m afraid they won’t be honest.”

Me: “Oh, sure. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “This cat… It’s vibrating. Is that supposed to happen?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s purring. That means it’s happy.”

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(I am a new hire. The restaurant has just promoted a crew member to manager. One night, a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “I would like to speak to a manager.”

Me: “Sure, I will go and get one.”

(I head into the back and try to grab the manager on shift. I can’t find her, so I grab the manager about to leave, who is the recently promoted crew member. We head up front, and I start heading to clean up the lobby as he talks to the customer.)

Customer: “You’re the manager?”

Manager: “Yeah, got a problem with it?”

Customer: “I don’t like the way you handle your customer service.”

(I stop cleaning and look at them. I see the manager on shift hovering just out of sight of the new manager.)

Manager: “Well screw you; I’m the manager.”

(The new manager walks out the door. As soon as the doors close, a coworker, the manager on shift, and I rush up and apologize.)

Me: “I’m very sorry for that; what did he do?”

Customer: “When I ordered a few minutes ago, I tried handing him some bills, and he said he couldn’t take crumpled up bills. He was rude the whole time.”

Manager On Shift: “I’m sorry for that; would you like something for free?”

Customer: “No, although I don’t know why you guys have a manager like him.”

Me: “To speak frankly, I don’t even like the guy; he is just an a**-hole.”

Coworker: “Apparently they thought putting him as a manager would improve his attitude. We are very sorry for this.”

Customer: “It’s okay; at least there are some decent people working here.”

(Thankfully, about a week later, the new manager didn’t work at the store anymore.)