Archive for 2013

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Down Blunder

| NYC, NY, USA | Learning | November 6, 2013

(The math professor is known for being absent-minded, but brilliant. He’s absolutely reliant on his TA, who’s from Germany and runs all his day-to-day affairs. Today’s the first day of class, and the professor is showing us photos from his summer vacation.)

Professor: “…so after India, we spent a week in Austria, and [TA] was kind enough to teach me some German: ‘hallo, ich bin eine Amerikan Mathematik-Professor!’ But I found out that everyone there spoke English.”

TA: “Ah, but everyone will treat you better if you show them you speak some of the language!”

Professor: “I tried! They just told me they couldn’t speak German! Is the entire country a practical joke?”

(The next slide is a photo of him excitedly waving near a kangaroo.)

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Has Snow Business Feeling The Cold

| Learning | November 6, 2013

I Know The Answer

| Learning | November 6, 2013


Retail Access Memory

| Foley, AL, USA | Right | November 5, 2013

(I have an excellent memory. I work at a tool store and have memorized every model number. When customers walk up to the counter, I type in the numbers and give them the total before they put the items down. )

Me: “That’ll be [total].”

Customer: “How did you do that? You didn’t scan anything.”

Coworker: “He’s ‘Rain Man.’ He has everything in this store memorized.”

(The customer grabs a random saw blade from a nearby stack.)

Customer: “What about this?”

(I rattle off the price, UPC, and price with tax.)

Customer: “Ha! That isn’t the model number.”

Coworker: “Look at the barcode.”

(The customer reads the 12-digit number, and is dumbfounded.)

Me: “To be fair those things never scan. It’s one of the UPCs I have memorized.”

Customer: “So… want to go Vegas?”

(I’m now a network engineer and shock my coworkers constantly with how I have the entire network’s IP and subnets memorized. I earned the nickname ‘Rain Man’ again.)

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Buy Him A Hot Slice Of Karma

| MI, USA | Right | November 5, 2013

(I have just gotten off my shift as a cashier, and am filling up my gas tank at a gas station right near my store before I head home. My jacket is covering up my uniform. A man approaches me in his car, telling me basically his whole life story about being in the military, just getting out of the hospital, not having eaten all day, and needing food to take his diabetic medication.)

Man: “Would you be able to give me some food?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t.”

Man: “Well, why the f*** not?!”

Me: “Because, not even an hour ago, I saw you at my work, buying a full cart of groceries, and munching on a donut from our bakery. Unless you’ve eaten through all that food in so little time, I’m sure you’d be able to eat something with which to take your medication.”

Man: “F*** YOU!”

(As I go inside to buy myself something to drink, I see another poor generous soul buying him food, as well as filling his gas tank. I hope one day he gets what’s coming to him.)

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