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A Cookie Monster Of A Diet

| London, England, UK | Romantic | November 6, 2013

(My wife and I are out shopping with a friend, and have just arrived at our destination. My wife is currently on a restricted diet and cannot eat foods containing milk.)

Me: “So where next? [Shop] or food?”

Wife: “I’d say food; [friend] hasn’t had anything to eat today apart from that giant chocolate chip cookie.”

Me: *in Cookie monster’s voice* “Mmm, cookie…”

(I start trying to eat my wife’s head.)

Me: “Om nom nom nom!”

Wife: “I AM NOT A COOKIE!”

Me: “You’re small and sweet—”

Wife: “BUT NOT FULL OF CHOCOLATE!”

(My wife realises what she has just said, and suddenly looks miserable.)

Friend & Me: “Aww!”

Flirt With Other Girls

| Romantic | November 6, 2013

girlfriend-meme-joke-funny

Introducing Not Always Learning’s Themed Story Giveaway!

Not Always Learning | Learning | November 6, 2013
Want to win a USD $25 CafePress gift certificate?
Enter November’s Themed Story Giveaway: Bizarre Behavior!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about bizarre school-related behavior.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Learning shop (or anywhere on Cafepress)!

PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, December 4!

This Test Is Eeeh-Zeeh

| LA, USA | Learning | November 6, 2013

(My high school physics teacher has a habit of ‘helping’ us during tests. Sometimes he ‘forgets’ to erase a formula off the board, or leave a note up… things like that. We are about to take a test on a particularly hard chapter. It is right after he passes out the tests, which are always multiple choice.)

Teacher: “Alright, does everyone SEE number three?”

(We look at each other in confusion.)

Student #1: “Uh… yeah… what about it?”

Teacher: “Oh, just wanted you to really SEE how it’s worded.”

(I catch on.)

Teacher: “Okay guys… everyone BE careful on number eight!”

(Everyone reads #8 and looks around at each other, getting what he’s doing. A few minutes pass…)

Teacher: “Man, that number 10 is just DElightful!”

(Everyone scribbles. A few more minutes pass…)

Student #2: “Sir, do we SEE number fifteen?”

Teacher: “Um… yes. Yes you do!”

(Needless to say, everyone passed the test!)

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Keeps The Scientific Method At Arms Length

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Learning | November 6, 2013

(We’re in physics class. The teacher is pointing to something on projector screen.)

Teacher: “And if you can see this angle right here…”

(He pauses, staring at his shadow.)

Teacher: “My arm is really hairy, isn’t it?”

(He proceeds, in silence, to light a match and set his arm hair on fire, then beat it with his hand.)

Teacher: “Okay, who wants to smell my arm!”

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