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Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Geography

(I work in a little bakery. It’s been a quiet evening when a customer’s car comes speeding in to a parking spot outside the front door. She gets out of her car with her cell phone in her out-stretched arm. She looks utterly confused as she enters the store.)

Me: “Hi there!”

Customer: “Yeah, hi.”

(The customer spins in a slow circle and looks around.)

Me: “Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: *looks at her phone* “Yeah, I’m looking for [address of location].”

Me: “You found it!”

Customer: “NO! My phone is saying this is [coffee shop]. This is supposed to be [coffee shop]!”

Me: “Oh, yeah. It used to be over two years ago, but they closed down and we moved in.”

Customer: “NO! My phone is saying that this is the location of the coffee shop. Where is it!?”

Me: “They closed over two years ago—”

Customer: “NO! Phones are not wrong. This is supposed to be [coffee shop]!”

Me: *looks around the bakery, than back to the customer* “Nope, this is [bakery]. Sorry to disappoint you.”

Customer: “I’m sorry; I’m just not understanding.”

(I have no idea how much more clearly I can let this customer know that the coffee shop closed down and she is standing in a bakery.)

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is [bakery]. There is another coffee shop down the road though.”

Customer: “Okay, I guess I’ll go down the street. But you’re sure there isn’t a coffee shop here?”

Me: “One thousand percent sure. Have a wonderful evening.”

(I watch her leave the store. She sits in her car for 10 minutes playing with her phone. I see violent movements coming from the car, so I call my coworker to the front. We watch while she violently shakes her phone and yells. I hope she finds that coffee shop and gets a decaf!)

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 7
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

He’s Got The Bear Necessities

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

(A little boy, around five or six, comes into my work with his parents. He has a scab below his eye.)

Me: “Hey, buddy! What happened to your eye?”

Boy: *looking down, embarrassed* “I fell off a chair.”

(I lean down, and whisper to him just loud enough for his parents to hear.)

Me: “Just tell people you got in a fight with a bear, and WON!”

Boy: *lights up* “Yeah! Dad, can I say that?”

Dad: “Well, that’s what happened, right? You got in a fight with a bear and WON!”

Boy: “YEAH!”

Snide Salad

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a customer at a restaurant. I overhear an exchange while I am waiting for my pickup order.)

Customer: “Waiter?”

Waiter: “Yes ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Where is my side salad?”

Waiter: “Uh, ma’am?”

Customer: “I said, where is my side salad?”

Waiter: “You ordered a salad, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, I know.”

Waiter: “Salads don’t come with side salads.”

Customer: “But it said on the menu that orders came with side salads.”

Waiter: “It said in the entree section that orders came with salads, not in the salad category.”

Customer: “I WANT MY SIDE SALAD!”

Waiter: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t give you a side salad for your salad.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable. Every time I’ve come here, I have received a side salad.”

Waiter: “Have you ever ordered the salad as a main course before?”

Customer: “No, but—”

Waiter: “Exactly. We only provide side salads for things that are in the entree section. We do not give side salads to people who order salads.”

Customer: “BUT WHY NOT?!”