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Dad Isn’t Exactly A High-Roller(Coaster)

| USA | Related | November 6, 2013

(My cheap dad and I are in line for a roller coaster. I am deathly afraid.)

Me: “Nooo, I don’t wanna go!”

Dad: “I paid for these tickets, so you have to go!”

(When it’s our turn, my dad forces me onto the seat despite the stares of everyone. The car starts going up a steep hill very slowly.)

Me: *near tears* “Noooo! I’m going to be sick! I’m going to faint!”

Dad: “Don’t be sick, and don’t faint! Look at the view, isn’t it pretty?”

Me: “No, it’s not! I hate you for making me do this!”

Dad: “Don’t close your eyes; you’re wasting my money!”

Be-Labor The Point

| GA, USA | Related | November 6, 2013

(I’m seven months pregnant. My husband doesn’t like it when I poke my belly or try to ‘wake up’ our daughter by shaking my bump. He is placing his cheek on my belly.)

Husband: “You don’t like that, do you? Never let mommy bully you, ever. She’s mean.”

Me: “I am not. I try to have SOMETHING orange every day, because she seems to love it.”

(My husband continues to talk to my belly.)

Husband: “That’s called bribery. Don’t accept that, either. It’s illegal.”

(Suddenly, our daughter kicks very forcefully, hitting my husband’s cheek.)

Husband: “Okay, do you want orange juice or just the orange?”

The Jokes Should Move To Pastures New

| Shrewsbury, England, UK | Related | November 6, 2013

(My dad and I love bad puns and cheesy jokes. We are talking with my younger sister about the possible whereabouts of some cows we had seen earlier.)

Sister: “Oh, where are the cows we saw earlier?”

Me: “Maybe they mooved?”

Dad: “Maybe they are cowering in a corner.”

Me: “Dad! Don’t milk it!”

Sister: “Oh no, please stop.”

Me: “Sorry, have you herd these all before?”

Sister: “Please stop; this is so embarrassing.”

Me: “Can I not tell an udder one?”

Dad: “How are you coming up with all of these?”

Me: “Because I am legen-dairy!”

Saying She Ate The Bunny Is Hare-say

| Mesquite, TX, USA | Related | November 6, 2013

(It’s Easter and I’m four years old. I have received a large chocolate bunny, which my mom has told me specifically not to eat yet. Shortly afterwards, she finds me in my room; my face and hands are covered in chocolate.)

Mom: “[My Name], did you eat your chocolate bunny?”

Me: “No.”

Mom: “Was it good?”

Me: “Yes.”

Wifi Password

| Related | November 6, 2013

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