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My, Robot

| West Point, NY, USA | Related | November 7, 2013

(My five year old is disappointed because I told her that we can’t go to the park until I do dishes and put away laundry.)

Daughter: “You know what we need, Mommy?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Daughter: “A robot.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what? Why do we need a robot?”

Daughter: “It could do the dishes, and walk the dog, and cook dinner for you!”

Me: “Wow, that sounds great.”

Daughter: “Yeah! And it could change the baby’s diaper, and clean the cat’s litter box, and even rake the leaves!”

Me: “I wish we did have a robot like that; it would make things much easier for me.”

Daughter: “And you know what else? It could even snuggle with Daddy at night so he doesn’t crush you!”

(My husband has PTSD, and sometimes thrashes or rolls over on me in his sleep.)

Me: “Oh… but then where would I sleep?”

Daughter: “With me, of course!”

He’s A Doctor, Not An Engineer

| London, England, UK | Related | November 7, 2013

(Our surname is Scott. My dad holds a Ph.D., but very rarely brings up the fact and doesn’t usually call himself ‘Doctor.’)

Me: “Is it right that they never actually said ‘Beam me up, Scotty’ on Star Trek?”

Dad: “Yes. I think they would be more likely to call him Mr. Scott.”

Me: “Okay then, Dad, will you beam me up?”

Dad: “Yes, as soon as you acknowledge my Ph.D..”

In Space, No One Can Hear Your Stupid Questions

| Newberg, OR, USA | Related | November 7, 2013

(My mom and I are seeing ‘Prometheus’ at a local movie theater. I usually go to movies with my dad, because we are the professed geeks of the family. My mom always asks a lot of questions during movies, which generally annoys me. ‘Prometheus’ is in its first few minutes, and mom already taps me on the shoulders and whispers…)

Mom: “Is this Star Wars?”

(I try to contain my laughter!)

A Half-Baked Attempt

| ND, USA | Related | November 7, 2013

(This happened more than 75 years ago, which goes to prove small children haven’t changed much over the years. My father is three years old. He has been taught that if he wants a cookie from the cookie jar, he has to ask someone first. As a result, my grandmother finds him with his hand in the cookie jar, speaking to himself.)

Father: “Have a cookie, Billy!” *pause* “Okay!”

Facebook Aunt

| Related | November 7, 2013


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