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No ID And No Idea, Part 2

| OR, USA | Working | December 26, 2013

(I purchased my plane tickets before I got married and changed my name. When I go to check in, I accidentally give her my new ID, not my old one. The old ID has my maiden name on it and a hole in it, but has not expired and counts as valid ID. The clerk tells me that I need to show BOTH IDs to the security checkpoint.)

Security: “What’s this?”

Me: “Sorry. I bought the ticket before I was married so it’s under my maiden name. That’s my old ID with my original name on it to match the ticket. It’s still valid until 2019. The other is my new ID. They’re both me and both good. See?”

Security: “I need you to step aside. I have to call this in. You don’t have anything else on you to prove your old and new names do you?”

Me: “Um… I have an old insurance card and my new credit cards? But that license should be enough. It’s still valid ID.”

Security: “That may not work. We need a passport or social security card. I have to page it in.”

(I stand around for 15-20 minutes while he checks other people through. Finally a manager comes over. He takes one look at my ID and then stares at the security person.)

Manager: “This ID doesn’t expire until 2019.”

Security: “Yeah, but now she’s someone else.”

Manager: “Both IDs are valid. She’s fine.”

Security: “But her name is different!”

Manager: *to me* “I’m going to go ahead and put you through now. Sorry about that.”

(As I went through security, I heard him still trying to explain the concept to his employee. Coming back, the airport clerk at the other airport told me only to show my old ID because ‘you’d just confuse security if you show them both.’ Good call!)


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At The Boss’s Beck And Calling

| MI, USA | Working | December 26, 2013

(My roommate and I work for the same grocery store; however, I work outside the store and she works in it. An hour before my shift, my phone rings.)

Me: “Hello?”

Boss: “Hey, [My Name]. Where’s your roommate?”

Me: “Not here, as far as I know. She was gone when I got up this morning.”

Boss: “I can’t get a hold of her and I need her to come in tonight.”

Me: “I’m not sure where she went, and I think she left her phone here. I heard it ringing earlier.”

Boss: “Could you find her and ask if she’d come in today?”

Me: “I don’t know where she is. If she doesn’t have her phone I don’t have a way to reach her.”

Boss: “But you live with her.”

Me: “Yeah, but she’s not here. I’ll be at work myself in a little bit.”

Boss: “But you live with her!”

Me: “I also live with my cat. Wanna talk to him?”

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Won’t Have A Leg To Stand On

| Working | December 26, 2013

Awkward Christmas Family Photo #47

| Related | December 26, 2013


Beware Of Greek Olives Bearing Gifts

| Oak Park, IL, USA | Related | December 26, 2013

(It’s Christmas Eve. My wife and I are at her sister’s house for the family gathering.)

Sister-In-Law: *to me* “I just noticed that there are no gifts under the tree for you, so I’m going to wrap up this can of black olives so you have something to unwrap. But I’ll need it back later. It’s part of dinner.”

(My sister-in-law walks away.)

Me: *to my wife* “Did that really just happen?”

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