Archive for 2013

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Money Makes The Wheels Go Round

| Omaha, NE, USA | Romantic | November 8, 2013

(I’ve been texting a girl who I like, and I think likes me back. Through the conversation we have been flirting a bit. After a while, we get to the topic of cars.)

Her: “I want this motorcycle.”

(She texts me a picture.)

Me: “I’m totally buying this jaguar.”

(I send her a picture back.)

Her: “Yeah, totally, then you could start taking me to school!”

Me: “Oh, so you’re one of the gold diggers who only like guys for their money?”

Her: “I always told my dad that I would marry rich. He said not under his watch. So I made it okay by saying I wanted to marry a good guy, but money wouldn’t hurt the cause.”

Up All Night To Get Lucky

| Learning | November 8, 2013


Easily Obvious

| Learning | November 8, 2013

The Class Is Good At Taking Orders

| Chicago, IL, USA | Learning | November 8, 2013

(As part of a volunteer teaching program, I have the chance to teach at an elementary school at the heart of Chicago’s Chinatown. Standing in front of a group of First Graders, I am teaching them about businesses and professions.)

Me: “Does anyone know what to call people who teach kids in school?”

Kids In Unison: “Teacher!”

Me: “Wonderful! Anyone knows what to call people who make you feel better when you are sick?”

Kids In Unison: “Doctor!”

Me: “Wonderful! Anyone knows what to call people who cook food in the restaurants?”

Kid #1: “Dad!”

Kid #2: “Uncle!”

Kid #3:” Mom!”

Kid #4: “Grandpa!”

(I am confused for a moment, and then realize that I am in Chinatown, and most of their families are in restaurant business.)

Me: “Actually, we call them chefs!”

(The kids looked at each other, excited.)

Kid #1: “Wow! My dad has a title!”

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Straight Talking On Not-So-Straight Walking

| Somerset, NJ, USA | Learning | November 8, 2013

(I am walking in the hallway. I tend to get wordy when annoyed.)

Kid: “Those sneakers are so f****** gay!”

Me: *turning around* “Really? I wasn’t aware that footwear had a sexual orientation.”

Kid: “What the f***?”

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