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Acting Childish

| NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

(It’s my first day working at a restaurant in town. I am a dishwasher, and am told to bring cups to the front because the waitresses are too busy. I pick up a tub filled with glasses, and open the kitchen door, which is right by the bathroom.)

Small Child: “I’M COMING MOM!”

(Suddenly I feel something small ram me in the middle of my back, and I topple to the floor, still holding the tub.)

Small Child: “OH MY GOD, MY LEG!”

Childs Parent: “OH MY GOD, WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU DELIBERATELY TRIED TO HURT MY SON! YOU MONSTER! I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED!”

(The child and his parent seek out the owner. They go into a rant about how I tried to kill the small child, while I have finished limping back to the kitchen. Eventually, the owner comes into the kitchen and pulls me aside, barely able to keep a straight face.)

Owner: “Look kid, I know it’s your first day, but you can’t go around trying to kill small children. I know they are a pain in the a**, but we usually go for crippling moves, not killing ones.”

(The owner grins and walks away, before stopping for a moment and turning around.)

Owner: “Oh, and [waitress] says you didn’t drop a single glass. Keep that up and you might stick around for a while.”

Saving Money And Wasting Time

| Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Money

(I work for a supermarket that has launched a ‘price promise.’ If you spend more in the supermarket than you might have spent in a competitors, the till system automatically prints a coupon for the difference. If you saved money over shopping with competitors, it prints a little ‘for information’ slip to tell you how much money you saved over going elsewhere.)

Me: “That’s £14.87 please, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh! I have this coupon! I can save 50p!”

(The customer hands me a ‘for information’ slip that is not actually a coupon.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid that’s an advice slip. You already saved your 50p on your last shop.”

Customer: “Exactly. So I get 50p off now, right?”

Me: “No, ma’am. This piece of paper says ‘You saved 50p’ and is for information only. If it was a coupon, it would have the writing ‘Save 50p off your next shop!’ instead.”

Customer: “So it’s a coupon?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s for information. If it was a coupon it would have the text as I described, and also a barcode beneath for me to scan to apply that discount. As there is no barcode, regrettably it is not a coupon, and unfortunately I cannot credit you with this 50p.”

Customer: “So why did they give me a coupon to save me money if I can’t actually save any money?”

Customer’s Husband: “FOR LORD’S SAKE, WOMAN! The lady has very nicely tried to explain several times that THIS IS NOT A COUPON. You ALREADY saved your money, so you can’t save it twice. Can we PLEASE just pay and go before people start questioning why I’ve not divorced you yet?”

Customer: “Oh. Sorry, dear.” *to me* “Sorry to you too, dear! I don’t understand why they gave me a coupon I can’t spend, though.”

Customer’s Husband & Me: “It’s not a coupon.”

Customer Servicer

Extras

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