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A**-hole In One, Part 2

| Working | November 9, 2013

Keeping Easter Sweet

| NJ, USA | Related | November 9, 2013

(Both my sister and I are a bit old to believe in the Easter bunny, but because it’s tradition and I never outright said I don’t believe, my older sister and I still like our mom to hide Easter candy for us. It is nearly Easter, and we are at the pharmacy store when we see a display of Easter things. My mom knows we don’t really believe it, but doesn’t want to deal with it this year.)

Me: “Is the Easter bunny coming this year?”

Mom: “Oh… you still want the Easter bunny to come?”

Me: “Well, yeah! Its tradition and we have fun. If you want, I can wait outside while you pay for the stuff and ‘call the Easter bunny and remind him to come.'”

Mom: “When will you guys grow up?” *sighs* “Fine, I’ll call the rabbit later.”

(The Easter bunny came that year.)

Hard-Core Hugging

| London, England, UK | Romantic | November 9, 2013

(My girlfriend and I have been kissing passionately for the last few minutes. She lays her head on my chest and hugs me in a manner that I recognise as ‘let’s just cuddle.’)

Me: “I recognise that hug!”

Girlfriend: “What? No! I, uh… I wish you could have penetrative cuddling.”

Sorry Seems To Be The Most Frequent Word

| WA, USA | Romantic | November 9, 2013

(I’m going to pick my boyfriend up after class. I’m in the hallway where we are supposed to meet, and I don’t see him. An administrator walks up to me.)

Administrator: “Hi, you look lost. Can I help you find something?”

Me: “I’m trying to find my boyfriend. We’re supposed to meet here.”

Administrator: “Well, I’m not sure if I can help you out with that.”

(Just then, my boyfriend walks out of his classroom. He waves to me, and heads our way.)

Me: “There he is!”

Administrator: “You’re dating [Boyfriend]? Oh, honey, I am so sorry! Call me sometime; we’ll talk.”

(It turned out she had been a friend of his family for years. The scary thing? She was not the first one to say that about him!)

Return Of The Contrarian Librarian

| Learning | November 9, 2013

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