Archive for 2013

Jump to page:

Some Customers Are Just Worth Recording

, | Cupertino, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

(I’m working in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [restaurant]; what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Are… are you a recording?”

Me: “Yup. I’m absolutely a prerecorded message to take your order and make your day just a little brighter!”

Customer: “Oh. Well… I’ll have [order].”

(The customers drive up to the window to pay. I look at them amusingly.)

Me: “Am I a recording?”

Customer: *laughs* “Sorry. You were just so chipper that we thought you were a recording!”

Me: *chuckles* “It’s no problem. I’ve been up for three hours already and I’m loaded up on caffeine! Anyway, your order comes out to [total].”

Customer: “Okay. So, if I drive off right now, do you get to keep the change?”

Me: “Umm… That hasn’t happened before, so… maybe?”

Customer: “Okay. Well, have a great day, then!”

(The customers drive up to the next window to pick up their food. They very kindly leave me with a $15 tip!)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26

| Belgium | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work a summer job in a bank. An angry customer storms in and slams a card on the counter.)

Customer: “I tried to get money out of the cash machine but it won’t give me anything!”

Me: “Well, sir. It seems—”

Customer: “I’m not poor! There’s money in my account! You can check it!”

Me: “Well, sir—”

Customer: “I just want my d*** money! Give it to me!”

Me: “Sir… That’s a library card.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5

| CA, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(I own a coffee shop in a small town. My best friend is the manager and head barista. I am pretty young and inherited the place from family. I have come in for some coffee and to do some paperwork for a new hire. I am in line behind a very disgruntled customer.)

Customer: “You don’t have any authority to kick me out, you s***! I can do as I like. This is America. Only the owner can kick me out and he is never here. I am good friends with [Former Owner] and his whole family. So get me my drink on the house or I am going to have you fired. Do it now!”

Me: “Excuse me? You said you know [Former Owner]?”

Customer: “Well, yes. He is going to be so angry!”

Me: “Then you would have attended his funeral last March. You would also know that he never stood for abusive people in his shop.”

Customer: “How do you know this, you little snot? What are you, in high school?”

Me: “Actually, I am 25. My uncle passed away last year after battling cancer. I have been working at this shop since I was 15. He left it to me in the will. I own this shop. You have no right to speak to the barista, or anyone, that way. Please get out of my shop. The next time you show up you will be arrested.”

Customer: “You are missing out, young lady. I have never been so offended in my life! How dare you talk to me like that!?”

(My friend, the barista, feels the need to interject.)

Barista: “How dare you act like a child?! You make sexist, crude remarks every time you come in, you a**. I am lucky to work here. I have a very understanding boss. You are nothing but a bully. Get out of here and don’t come back.”

(The customer looks towards me.)

Me: “You heard my barista. Get out of my store.”

Customer: “Fine! But you are missing out!”

(The customer storms out of coffee store.)

Barista: “Thank you.”

Me: “I am going to give you a raise for that.”

Barista: “I thought I was going to be fired.”

Me: “Nope. That was hilarious.”

(She has worked for me for about five years now and has been made a partner!)

Related:
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 3
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2
Getting Owned By The Owner