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Loves You From The Bottom Of His Stomach

| Ogden, UT, USA | Romantic | November 11, 2013

(My fiancé and I have gone for a late night coffee run. We’re walking back to the car.)

Me: “Thanks for coffee, love! That was fun.”

Fiancé: “You’re welco—”

(I let out a long and loud burp.)

Fiancé: “Wow, babe…”

Me: “Let me sing you the song of my people?”

Losing The Waiting Game

| Curacao, Netherlands Antilles | Romantic | November 11, 2013

(My boyfriend is notorious for speaking before he thinks, and therefore sometimes unintentionally says hurtful things. I am his first girlfriend, and earlier that week we had been intimate together for the first time. We are both atheists.)

Boyfriend: “I’m really glad you’re not religious.”

Me: “Oh?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, they have some policies that I don’t necessarily agree with.”

(It is obvious that he’s talking about abstinence until marriage.)

Me: “…okay.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, I would’ve had to marry you really young. I don’t think our parents would like that.”

Me: “You do realize that you’re making it sound like you’d marry me just to have sex, right?”

Boyfriend: “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. You know I would wait if you wanted to.”

Me: “Well, you can’t prove that anymore.”

Boyfriend: “Touché!”

Putting Him Through The Meat Grinder

| Canada | Romantic | November 11, 2013

(I bring my boyfriend home for dinner. My parents are strict Asians who don’t approve of me dating and my boyfriend knows of this, which makes him nervous about making a bad impression.)

Mom: “[Boyfriend], I made fried-rice. Have some.”

Me: “Mom, that has meat in it.”

Mom: “So?”

Me: “[Boyfriend] is vegetarian.”

Mom: “So? He can eat around. It’s fine.”

Me: “But it’s cooked in—”

Boyfriend: “It’s okay.”

Me: “But—”

Boyfriend: “I can eat around it.”

(I shudder to think of the consequences he had to pay on the toilet later to try to not to offend my parents!)

Is Going To Pay For That One

| Williamsport, PA, USA | Romantic | November 11, 2013

(My fiancée and I make a contribution of $125 to a Kickstarter project. She promises to give me $50 back as part of me being the one to use my card for the donation.)

Me: “So, about that $50 you owe me?”

Fiancée: “How about I pay you for sex?”

Me: “Um… maybe, but it’s probably not going to be very good. I have certain skills, but—”

Fiancée: “Hence why it’ll only cost $50.”

The Entire Male Population

| Romantic | November 11, 2013

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