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Working The Dead Shift

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Working | November 11, 2013

(I’m a waitress at a local diner that has new owners. I’ve worked there for nearly three years, for the previous owners, without any issue. It is a few weeks after the new owners take over, and my best friend passes away suddenly. I call work to tell them I won’t be in the next day, as I have to take care of things until her family can arrive from out of state.)

Owner: “Wait, so you’re not coming in tonight?”

Me: “No. I mean, not tonight. I don’t work tonight. I work tomorrow, at 11. I won’t be in, though; I’m sorry. [Coworker] said she’d cover for me, though.”

Owner: “You can’t just miss your shift. You need a doctor’s note.”

Me: “I’m not sick. My best friend just died.”

(I’m clearly upset, and have been crying for hours.)

Owner: “Oh. Well, I’m sorry, but if you’re going to miss work, I’m going to have to write you up.”

Me: “What?”

Owner: “Yeah. I mean, you’re not really giving me any notice, here. I need at least three days.”

Me: “So… your policy is that I have to give you notice three days before someone dies?”

Owner: “Yes!”

(I found another job soon after. Some time later, I learned that the owners had to shut down because they’d run off all of their good help and loyal customers with their crazy ways!)

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Just Brought Death To Her Career

| NV, USA | Working | November 11, 2013

(I’m showing a new secretary around the office. We go to get on the elevator, and when it arrives I see our chief operating officer (COO) in it. Our COO is very tall, thin, and has heavy scarring on his face.)

Me: “Good morning, Mr.—”

Secretary: “Ew, I don’t want to ride with him. Let’s take the next one.”

Me: “What?!”

Secretary: “He looks like the Grim Reaper. We’ll just take the next one.”

(The COO looks at her for a moment, then very calmly presses the ‘doors close’ button. I gape at the new secretary.)

Me: “What the h***, [Secretary’s Name]?”

Secretary: “What? He was weird-looking.”

Me: “You realize that that was the chief operating officer of the company?!”

Secretary: “Really? Ew.”

(She was fired before the end of the day.)

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Hold The Life Line

| Working | November 11, 2013


Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup

, , | Not Always Working | Working | November 11, 2013

Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Their Device Passed The Acid Test (1,759 thumbs up)
  2. Secret Shop, Public Flop (1,245 thumbs up)
  3. An Honest Scam (1,430 thumbs up)
  4. Their Jobs Are As Stuffed As Their Crusts (1,023 thumbs up)
  5. Something Doesn’t Compute (1,448 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Date Fright

| Staten Island, NY, USA | Related | November 11, 2013

(I am talking to my five-year-old son.)

Me: “Can you and your brother stay at my friend’s house for a few hours while Dad and I go out on a date?”

Five-Year-Old Son: “Where are you going?”

Me: “Brooklyn.”

Five-Year-Old Son: “You go all the way to Brooklyn to have a date?”

Me: “Uhm… yeah!”

Five-Year-Old Son: “Why can’t you guys just date in your room and lock your door? We’re not going to bother you. [Older Brother] and I are just gonna play Wii.”

Me: *to myself* “What kind of dates are kids going on these days?!”

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