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A Moving Romance

| USA | Learning | December 27, 2013

(I’m starting art class, which is my favorite. Usually I enjoy it very well. My teacher has made me sit in the same table as two teenage lovebirds, a boy and his girlfriend. They spend all class making out and flirting, and little else.)

Me: “Teacher, may I please move?”

Teacher: “No. You may not.” *sees loverboy* “Hey. Stop bothering your girlfriend during my class or I’ll separate you two!”

Boy: “Why do you have to be that way, teacher?”

Teacher: “You’re bothering [My Name].” *points to me*

Boy: “Who?”

Girl: “I think, like, she sits with us or something?”

(The class laughs and finally, I’m moved!)

Teachers Are Problem Solvers

| TX, USA | Learning | December 27, 2013

(I have third grade twins, a boy and a girl. My daughter has always been a straight-A student, but year after year we struggle with my son. We dread parent/teacher conferences because they’re almost always negative. My wife and I are sitting down with his third grade teacher for the first time.)

Teacher: “Well, where to start with [Son’s Name].”

Wife: “Yes. We’ve heard a lot of things from his teachers in the past, so just tell us what you think is important.”

Teacher: “Oh, yes. Okay. For starters, I wish I had a class full of students just like him!”

(We pause, stunned.)

Me: “Are you sure you’re talking about [My Son]? We’ve had teacher after teacher complain every year.”

Teacher: “But why? We struggle so much to get students to participate and ask questions in class. Your son asks more questions than anyone else in class, and participates in every lesson enthusiastically.”

Wife: “We get told every year that he acts up and disrupts class. He’s constantly getting in trouble.”

Teacher: “I don’t know what his previous teachers are talking about. If I had more students like him, the class would teach itself.”

(We thank her and any other teacher that find ways to take ‘problem students’ and turn them into a blessing!)

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Having Trouble Within His Colon

| Learning | December 27, 2013

Christmas Consideration

| Richmond, KY, USA | Right | December 26, 2013

(It is the Saturday after Thanksgiving. There is only one register open as the day is just beginning. My shopping cart is filled with three dozen books and other sundry items.)

Cashier: “Good morning. Can I interest you in signing up today for a [Store] card? You’ll save on future purchases here at [Store].”

Me: “Only if you open a second register to help the lady behind me.”

(We both turn at look at a 40-ish female carrying at least a dozen different items. She can barely see or carry her load.)

Cashier: “Madam, we can help you at lane two. We’ve just opened it.”

Me: *to the cashier* “Thank you. My name is…”

(Registering for the card and checking out took just a few minutes. Stay classy out there, fellow Christmas shoppers!)

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Kiss-mas Time

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | December 26, 2013

(My grandmother has taken me to work. She buys a shirt before leaving. Before she goes she gives me a kiss goodbye. I start ringing up another customer.)

Me: “Okay, that’s $20.”

(The customer hands me the money and leans over counter with his lips puckered.)

Me: “Uh, sir? What are you doing?”

Customer: “The other lady got a kiss. I want one too!”

Me: “That was my grandmother.”

Customer: “So what? I’m good looking! KISS ME!”

(My boss walks over after seeing the whole thing.)

Boss: “You need to go.”

Customer: “Oh come on. Not even for Christmas?”

Boss: “LEAVE!”

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