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Driving Miss Daisy Will Drive Them Crazy

| Working | November 14, 2013

In-Appropriating A New Cashier

| Houston, TX, USA | Working | November 14, 2013

(It is my first day of cashiering officially. I pick up my till and head to the manager’s podium with the bookkeeper who shows me how to open my locker.)

Bookkeeper: “Okay, we just have to find the manager for this shift and get you started. Oh, there he is! Hey [Manager’s Name]! Your new cashier, [My Name], is here. Where do you want to stick her?”

Manager: *with his back to us* “Stick her? I don’t even know her yet! Ba-dum-tsch! Hah.”

Bookkeeper: “Uh…”

Manager: *without turning around* “…she’s actually standing there with you, isn’t she?”

Bookkeeper: “…yeah.”

Manager: “Right! Set her up on register six.”

(Register six is the farthest away from the manager’s podium. He spent the rest of the shift avoiding eye contact and later apologized.)

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Not The Message You Want For Getting Older

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Working | November 14, 2013

(My mom, sister, and I go to a bakery to pick up a birthday cake for my dad. We had asked them to write ‘Happy Birthday Dad’ on the cake. When it comes out, the cake has ‘Happy Birthday Dead’ written on it.)

Mom: “No, we asked you to write ‘Happy Birthday DAD.'”

Employee: “Oh… I thought you said ‘dead.'”

(To this day, I’ll never understand under what circumstance anyone would want ‘Happy Birthday Dead’ written on their cake.)

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Lost The Key To Success

| NY, USA | Working | November 14, 2013

(I work nights at an adult retail store with a staff of four: myself, the store manager, the assistant manager, and a part-time employee, who is notoriously flakey. I get to work for my night shift on Monday, to find the store manager really worked up.)

Manager: “Oh, you will never believe what [Coworker] did last night.”

Me: “Uh-oh.”

Manager: “He called me, AT CLOSING AT 10 pm, to tell me that he couldn’t find his keys, and could I come up and lock the store for him.”

Me: “But he keeps his keys on a lanyard, and didn’t he have them when he got in?”

Manager: “Yes, because at 8 pm he locked up to grab dinner. I have torn this place apart today looking for them; I even went through the TRASH. They are not in the store, and he swears he checked all his clothes and bags and he doesn’t have them, which means that he probably left them IN THE DOOR when he got back, and they’re gone. Keep an eye out for them, but I doubt you’re going to find them.”

(About two hours after the manager leaves, my coworker comes in with a friend.)

Coworker: “Hey, I think I left my phone and charger here last night; can I take a look for them?”

Me: “Seriously? [Manager] spent all day tearing this place apart looking for your keys. If your phone were here, he would’ve found it.”

Coworker: “Oh. I don’t know where else it could BE!”

Me: “Did you check your bags from last night?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I checked every pocket in my clothes and the bags; my phone’s not there and my keys aren’t there. Oh well, have a good night.”

(Two days later, the assistant manager tells me that [Coworker] had found both his keys and his phone in the pockets of the jacket he’d worn to work on Sunday!)

In A State Of Confusion, Part 2

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Working | November 14, 2013

Coworker: “What state is VT?”

Me: “Uh… Vermont.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah. What did you think it was?”

Coworker: “I thought it was a city. Where is Vermont?”

Me: “In the New England area.”

Coworker:New England?! Where is that?!”

Me: “You know; the area with Massachusetts, New Hampshire, etc…”

Coworker: “Oh… where did you learn that?”

Me: *laughing* “Uh… sixth grade geography.”

(Because I am laughing, my coworker thinks I am messing with her, so she checks ‘New England, USA’ online.)

Coworker: “Oh! New England Patriots! I get it!”


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