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Crazy Is On The Menu

| TX, USA | Right | November 15, 2013

(I’ve received a complaint from a very unhappy customer, which has put me in a terrible mood. Thirty minutes later, I’m still not feeling too great when four young teens, three girls and one boy, walk into the restaurant. The boy and one of the girls get ready to order while the two other girls sit down and watch.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get for you?”

Girl #1: “Uh… so many options.”

Boy: “Come on, what do you want?”

Girl #1: “I don’t know; I’m still deciding.”

(There is a pause as the girl continues to look at the menu.)

Boy: “Come on! Just decide already. Just get like a ham or turkey or something.”

Girl #1: “But I don’t want that.”

Boy: “God, I don’t know why this is so difficult for you! They’re just sandwiches! Just pick SOMETHING!”

(The boy’s mannerisms and speech seem very unnatural and rehearsed, and the girls are trying not to laugh, so I can tell by this point that they’re just playing a joke.)

Boy: “You do this EVERY TIME. You’ve done this every time we came in here for two years! TWO YEARS you’ve put me through this! I don’t know why I put up with it! You know what? I’m done! I’m sick of this!”

(He exits the store dramatically, and his girlfriend runs after him.)

Girl #1: “Babe, wait! Come back! I’m SORRY!”

(Once she leaves, the two other girls get up and slowly exit the store.)

Girl #2: “I’m so sorry. No sandwiches.”

Girl #3: “Sorry.”

(I call after them as they leave.)

Me: “Bravo! Brava! But work on your acting a bit!”

(I’m sure they were just trying to weird me out, but strangely enough, their little performance cheered me up and took my mind off of the unhappy customer!)

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The Question Is Timeless, Not Ageless

| Antwerp, Belgium | Right | November 15, 2013

(My mum and I are waiting in line to buy our ticket. We are behind two older ladies.)

Old Lady: “No, I’m not telling you my age. I tell you, it is most impolite for you to ask.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I did not want to offend, but you do—”

Old Lady: “Well, you were. You don’t ask a lady her age!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but—”

Old Lady: “Give us our tickets already!”

(The cashier finishes the transaction, and still a bit undignified, both ladies leave. My mum and I approach the cashier.)

My Mum: “I have no problem telling you I am over 55, and have proof for you too. Now, I believe you do have senior citizen discount for which I qualify?”

Cashier: “Certainly, ma’am. So that will be one senior citizen and one adult?”

(Both ladies, clearly above 55, hear my mum speak; realizing their error, they look at their tickets and then to the cashier as to judge their chances of getting money back. With some disappointment, they decide against it.)

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Bought It From Somewhere Else

| Right | November 15, 2013


Toying With Her

| Working | November 15, 2013

Glad We Straightened That Out, Part 2

| NJ, USA | Working | November 15, 2013

(The lunch rush has just passed, so my coworkers and I are chatting a bit. I am new to this job, and have only been working there for a week. I’m a woman.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], are you into black guys?”

(He is not black, and neither are any of our other coworkers, so I have no idea why he’s even asking me this.)

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Coworker: “Would you ever date a black guy?”

Me: “Uh yeah, sure. One of my ex-girlfriends was black, but what does race have to do—”

Coworker: “Whoa hold up! You dated a girl?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m bisexual.”

(My coworker starts shaking his head.)

Coworker: “No.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Coworker: “I don’t believe in bisexuality. Either you’re gay or you’re straight. Bisexuals are just secretly gay, having a bit of fun, or confused.”

Me: “Um, dude, no. I can tell you that I like both men and women.”

Coworker: “No! You’re just confused! If you’re f***** by the right guy, you’d realize that you’re straight!”

Me: “Are you serious right now? So let me get this straight: you’ve known me for four days, and you know nothing about my personal life, and you think you know my own sexuality better than I do? If that’s not the most conceited thing I’ve ever heard, then I don’t know what the f*** is.”

Coworker: *shuts up and leaves me alone*

Glad We Straightened That Out

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