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When Your Ex Does A Real Job On You

| New York, NY, USA | Romantic | December 27, 2013

(Several years ago I started seeing a guy I met online. We only dated a couple months, but had been talking about working together right before our breakup. We went ahead with that, to great success. Years later, we’re in our company’s office, talking with a colleague. He’s also a friend of my ex’s/business partner’s, and has just gone through a breakup himself.)

Friend: “So, yeah. I think I’m ready to start dating again.”

My Ex: “Really? Good for you.”

Friend: “Yeah. I’m even considering doing the online dating thing, but I don’t know how well it’d work. Have either you guys ever done that?”

My Ex & Me: “Uh… yeah.”

Friend: “Really? You did? How well did it work?”

Me: *gesturing to my ex* “Well, it’s how I met this guy. So, I can’t say it worked for dating but it was a great job hunting tool!”

Dovahkiin-dred Spirits, Part 2

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Romantic | December 27, 2013

(I have been a little depressed lately. My fiancée keeps cheering me up as much as she can. One night, she is in bed. I walk by.)

Fiancée: “You know, life is made of years, days, and hours. And hours are made of minutes and seconds. And in each second of my life with you, I’ll love you as much as there are gameplay hours in the whole Elder Scrolls games.”

(I almost cried that night.)

 

Unable To Stomach It Any Longer

| Broussard, LA, USA | Romantic | December 27, 2013

(Shortly after moving in with my boyfriend, I experienced a severe illness. I was basically bedridden, getting up only to vomit. After that, he gets extremely concerned when I have even the slightest bit of an upset stomach. I inform him that I feel a little queasy. After I take an anti-nausea pill, he hugs me, looking worried.)

Boyfriend: “Are you gonna be okay?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m just a little ‘urpy.’”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Probably because I ate all that chocolate.”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Because it was GOOD.”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Because it was DARK chocolate!”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Don’t make me slap you.”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

Me: “Well, if you want me to, I will!”

Boyfriend: “Why?”

(I lightly pat his cheek.)

Boyfriend: *clutching his face and reeling dramatically* “Whyyy!?”

I Like You Almost As Much As The Gifts

| Romantic | December 27, 2013

holiday-gifts-relationships-curve-appeal-ecards-someecards

Acting In-Seine

| Long Island, NY, USA | Learning | December 27, 2013

(My social studies teacher is asking the students to name the places he points to on a map of Asia. He points to a particular river, which no one can name correctly. Suddenly, he jumps up onto his desk and starts pounding his chest.)

Teacher: “I’m a gorilla!”

(He jumps from one desk onto another.)

Teacher: “I’m a gorilla! I’m a gorilla!”

Classmate: “Oh! Mekong!”

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