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Prolonged Life By Higher Powers

| VA, USA | Learning | November 16, 2013

(In math class, we are talking about checking equations.)

Teacher: “Every time somebody asks if they have to check it, I live another year. This is how I see who hates me.”

Student: “DO-WE-HAVE-TO-CHECK-IT-DO-WE-HAVE-TO-CHECK-IT-DO-WE-HAVE-TO-CHECK-IT?!”

Teacher: “Great. Now In 70,000 years I will be a floating head going ‘Curse you [Student’s Name].'”

Her Number Has Been (Tali)Banned

| Right | November 15, 2013

A Man Needs His Nectar

| Finland | Right | November 15, 2013

(I go to my local store after a game of soccer, still wearing my full goalkeeper kit. The cashier and I have met several times but don’t actually know each other at all. I am buying beer.)

Cashier: “[My Name], you can’t buy beer!”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “You come here looking so sporty and I thought you’d buy something healthy or nice, and you buy beer!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll buy something nice.”

(I turn around, grab a bunch of flowers, pay for them, and give them to her.)

Me: “There you go!”

Cashier: “What? For me?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “But… but why? No one has ever bought me flowers before.”

Me: “Well, you told me to buy something nice, and as you looked tired and a bit down I thought that it would be nice to buy you flowers.”

Cashier: “Thank you! This was so nice of you!”

Me: “May I now drink beer tonight?”

Cashier: “With both hands, if you like!”

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Deference To The Difference

, | Plano, TX, USA | Right | November 15, 2013

(I am working drive thru.)

Customer: “I want orange chicken and fried rice.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like that as a one side/one entree bowl, or as a one side/two entree plate with double orange chicken?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The bowl is $6.05 and the plate is $7.13.”

Customer: “No, not the price! What is the difference?”

Me: “Well, one has a single side and a single entree and it comes in a bowl, and the other has a single side and two entrees and it comes on a plate.”

Customer: “But, what’s the difference?”

This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2

| Staten Island, NY, USA | Right | November 15, 2013

(I am standing in line when a customer comes up behind me with two boxes of about 20 cans of soda each.)

Customer: “Can I go ahead of you?”

Me: “You want to cut in line?”

Customer: “No, I just need to talk to the woman in front of you!”

(The customer in front of me doesn’t seem to know him. However ,he only has two items, and I have forgotten to grab oranges anyway, so I say sure and dash back to the produce section. When I return, I hear the tail end of their conversation.)

Customer: “So if you let me put my soda on your bill, I can get a discount because you’re spending more than $20, and I’ll pay for the soda!”

Customer In Front: “Okay, fine.”

(The cashier finishes ringing the customer in front’s order, makes a note of the price, and scans the two boxes of soda. The customer in front of me pays her share, and then the cashier turns to the man with the soda, after carefully subtracting the customer in front’s cost from the total.)

Cashier: “You owe $17.70.”

Customer: “What? That’s ridiculous. It’s too much! I’m not paying that!”

Cashier: “Are you kidding? You can’t do that.”

Customer: “Just take it off!”

Cashier: “You cut in line, held everybody up while you explained this, made a big fuss, and now you’re going to hold everybody up again while we call a manager to void this?”

Customer: “F*** you! I didn’t do anything wrong.” *storms out*

Related:
This Is Soda-Pressing

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