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A Problem With Their World View

| Buenos Aires, Argentina | Related | December 27, 2013

(I’m at the computer and start complaining loudly because it’s going slow. My mum is in the kitchen and hears me.)

Mum: “Stop whining!”

Me: “No! I have the right to have first-world problems!”

Mum: “You don’t even have a first-world life!”

Me: “…touché.”

Regretting Gift Buying

| Related | December 27, 2013


Happy Holidays

| FL, USA | Related | December 27, 2013

(I have been ‘assigned’ to put up the Christmas decorations at my mother’s house.)

Mother: “What are you doing?”

Me: “You said to put up the decorations that were in the garage.”

(My mom keeps decorations for almost everything, and always a lot of them. Halloween, Xmas, Easter, you name it. I’ve put ALL of them up.)

Mother: “But, it’s CHRISTMAS.”

Me: *packing the boxes away* “I know.”

Mother: “Why is all the other stuff up?”

Me: *pulling my car keys out of my pocket* “Because you said the stuff in the garage. That was inclusive of everything in there that’s decorations. I figured you just wanted to have some fun.”

Mother: “But… But… It’s Christmas!”

Me: “Yeah. And?”

Mother: “Can you put away the non-Christmas stuff?”

Me: “Nope. I’ve got a 12-hour shift at work to get to. I’ll see if I can get to it, or you can. Bye.”

(Three months later, in February, everything was still up. The neighbors were complaining about it looking ‘tacky.’)

X-Rated Xmas

| Warminster, PA, USA | Related | December 27, 2013

(I am putting our Christmas tree up. It is not a real tree. I start to notice that my arms are itchy. I live with my dad and stepmom.)

Me: “My arms are itchy! It reminds me of when my mother would say she was allergic to latex and that she couldn’t help with the tree one year because of that. I never believed her, though. I mean, if you shove your arms in a prickly tree, of course it’ll itch!”

Dad: “She said she was allergic to latex?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Dad: *very matter-of-factly* “No. She’s not.”

Step-Mom: “Did you really go there?”

Dad: “I did.”

Getting Their Franchises All Muggled Up

| Madison, WI, USA | Romantic | December 27, 2013

(My boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple of weeks. He is really into Star Wars, and I love Harry Potter. We are texting sweet/nerdy things to each other.)

Boyfriend: “Lame joke alert: Well, you do have me under your spell.”

Me: “Good. We witches can certainly enchant mere Muggles.”

Boyfriend: “I really need to find the Jedi Academy.”

Me: “Oh?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, a Jedi and a witch together? Would be awesome!”

Me: “OH, MY GOD! YES!”

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