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Back To The Future

, , , | Related | December 31, 2013

(It is near New Year’s Eve 1985. I am eight years old.)

Me: “Dad, when the year changes from 1999 to 2000, will you let me stay up until midnight on New Year’s Eve?”

Dad: “You’ll be 25 then; you won’t need my permission.”

(I’m stunned; it’s the first time I really face the fact that I’ll actually be an adult one day, so I remember the incident well. Fast forward to near New Year’s Eve 2000, and I am 25 and living with my girlfriend. I am chatting with my dad over the phone.)

Me: “Hey, do you remember when I was a child, and asked you about staying up late on New Year’s Eve 2000?”

(I proceed to remind him, and he laughs.)

Me: “…well?”

Dad: “Well what?”

Me: “Well, can I stay up until midnight?”

Dad: “Okay, just since you asked, then NO! I want you in bed and ready for story-time by 8:30!”

Don’t Test The Teacher’s Methods

| Learning | December 31, 2013

(We’re taking a math test. No one in the class seems happy. After many students have made the despondent walk of shame to her desk, the teacher decides to speak up.)

Teacher: “Guys, I’m going to ask you a question. I want you to be really honest. How many of you are going to fail this test?”

(Over three-quarters of the class raise their hands.)

Teacher: “Okay. Come back and get it. This’ll be a take-home test.”

Student: “Can we sing celebratory songs?”

Teacher: “Go ahead.”

These Customers Come But Once A Year

| Right | December 31, 2013

(The restaurant I work at is closed Thanksgiving and Christmas, and has been doing so for 20 years. Every year, we get at least one call the day after each complaining. It is December 26th.)

Caller: “Hi. I tried coming to your restaurant yesterday but the lights were all out, the doors were locked, and nobody answered your phones!”

Me: “We were closed yesterday.”

Caller: “But you guys are never closed on Christmas!”

Me: “Sir, we’ve been closed on Christmas and Thanksgiving every year since we opened.”

Caller: “Liar! I DEMAND to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Sir, I am currently the only one in right now. I can give you the owner’s number if you like.”

Caller: “NO! I DON’T WANT TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER! I WANT A MANAGER!”

Me: “I am the manager on duty. If you call back at about 11, the mid-shift manager will be in and you can speak with him if you don’t want to speak to me.”

Caller: “I want free food because you people locked the doors and wouldn’t let me in yesterday!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t give you free food because you came by on one of the two days of the year we are closed.”

Caller: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Do you work somewhere that closes on certain days?”

Caller: “Yeah! I work for the bank!”

Me: “So, if I called in on a Monday and demanded free services because I had come by the Sunday before and you were closed, what would you do?”

Caller: “I would laugh at you and hang up.”

Me: “Well, then, I guess that’s as good a plan as any.”

(I laugh at him and hang up.)


This story is part of the Boxing Day roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

20 Crazy Customer Stories To Ring In The Pumpkin Spice Season!

 

Read the next Boxing Day roundup story!

Read the Boxing Day roundup!

January First, Two-Thousand And Who

, , , , , | Related | December 31, 2013

(It is about one or two o’clock in the morning on January 1st, in my family room. I am an avid fan of ‘Doctor Who.’ My mother does not like science fiction, though she puts up with my obsession. Early in the morning of New Year’s Day, I start watching an episode from DVR. My mother, who had fallen asleep sometime before midnight, wakes up during the theme song.)

Mom: “Please do not tell me that the first thing I am hearing this year is that.”

Two Rights Make Her Wrong

| Learning | December 31, 2013

(Our school has several compulsory courses, including a half course on either religious education or citizenship. I chose citizenship since it was a new course and sounded interesting. I soon found out that it was a total joke. The teacher spent a whole lesson standing at the front of the class actually crying over the Union Jack flag and talking about her patriotic pride. This was followed by several other pointless lessons that covered nothing at all. The class culminates in a mock exam that forces us to miss lunch break, and 45 minutes of the next period. The test is a waste of time. I finish in 15 minutes. Then I try to leave.)

Teacher: “Sit down. You may not leave the exam room until the exam time is complete.”

Me: “I have finished. I am hungry and want to get lunch.”

Teacher: “This is an exam. You are not allowed to leave.”

Me: “Actually, I’m pretty sure that by keeping me here without access to food is illegal.”

Teacher: “No. It’s not. You’re a student. You don’t have rights.”

(This goes back and forth with me trying to argue the whole point of our course was to learn about our rights. Eventually the lunch break ends. The next period begins, which is one of the courses I actually still have hope for.)

Me: “You are now making me miss my science lesson which I’m pretty sure counts as a violation of my right to education.”

Teacher: *repeating as a mantra now* “You’re a student. You don’t have rights.”

(This argument has now been picked up by nearly everyone else in the room who just wants to leave. It starts to get very loud very quickly. The teacher is just screaming at the top of her voice, ‘You’re students, you don’t have rights!’ The noise has evidently disturbed other nearby classes. One contains the head teacher who comes to investigate.)

Head Teacher: “Right, everyone. Be quiet and let me find out what’s going on here.” *turns to teacher* “What is happening?”

Teacher: “They won’t remain quiet and finish their mock tests.”

Me: “Excuse me, miss. I finished mine in the middle of lunch break. You then refused to let me leave and get lunch. Further, you kept us all in the room through both lunch and now half of fifth period.”

Head Teacher: *turns to me* “She kept you in through the whole of lunch break? And is now making you miss other classes?”

Me: “Yes. And when I tried to tell her this she kept saying that I’m a student and I don’t have rights, which is ironic since we’re in a citizenship class!”

Teacher: “You don’t have rights, you stupid child!”

Me: “Actually, when you weren’t crying over the Union Jack about your patriotism you actually told us that any British citizen regardless of age has both the right to education and the right to freedom of movement. Two rights you have denied to us.”

Head Teacher: “Okay. I think I understand. All students leave the room now. If you need lunch, since you were unable to get any, the cafeteria is still open. Please go and help yourself. Once you have eaten, please return to class. Tell your teachers you had permission from me to do so.” *turns to teacher* “You and I better have a little chat.”

(Later that week, the teacher was fired. The course was scrapped the following year. I still managed to pass the exam… somehow.)