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Equal Measures Of Stupidity

| Wayne, PA, USA | Working | November 20, 2013

(After attending a morning tea session, I decide to buy some of the tea we had been served, which is sold by the quarter pound.)

Me: “Good morning, I’d like 4 oz of the English Breakfast mix.”

Employee: “Oooooooh…”

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Employee: “I’m so sorry, sir. We only sell them by the quarter pound.”

Me: “Yes, that’s… that’s what 4 oz is.”

Employee: “Well, I’m sorry; we just can’t do it. We sell by the quarter pound.”

Me: “Yes, 4 oz is a quarter pound. I’d like a quarter pound of English Breakfast.”

Employee: “Why didn’t you say so?!”

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Equal Measures Of Stupidity

He Doesn’t Know What To Down (Under)

| Fitchburg, MA, USA | Working | November 20, 2013

(I’m on the phone signing up for unemployment.)

Worker: “What is your race?”

Me: “White, Caucasian.”

Worker: “Are you a US citizen?”

Me: “No.”

Worker: “Wait, what? Yes you are!”

Me: “Um, no. No I’m not a citizen.”

Worker: “But you said ‘white’ before.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m definitely white. I’m Australian with British parents.”

Worker: “You sure?”

Me: “Pretty sure yeah. You should see me dance!”

Worker: *laughing* “Well, I gotta put something for race, because the way they have it, ‘white’ is for US citizen.”

Me: “That’s… weird.”

(This is probably my 5th time signing up for unemployment, and I’ve never heard of this. I have no idea what she put for my race. But I’m kind of dying to know now!)

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One Day It Will Make Scents

| TN, USA | Related | November 20, 2013

(I am driving my eight-year-old daughter to school early in the morning, when a news story comes on the radio station.)

Radio: “The bodyguard of [Famous Singer] is suing because she farted in his presence.”

Daughter: “Oh my God! Why would she do that to that man’s presents?”

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