Archive for 2013

Jump to page:

Condomning Consoling Behavior

| ID, USA | Right | November 20, 2013

(I work support for a well-known gaming system. It’s Super Bowl Sunday, and it’s very slow due to everybody watching the game. However, we are getting plenty of prank calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Game Company]. My name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

(Note: the caller sounds like he is 13 years old at the most.)

Caller: “Uh, yeah. How do I put on a condom?”

Me: “Um, this is [Game Console] tech support. I can only help with [Game Console]-related questions. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Caller: “Well, you see, I wanted to have sex with my [Game Console], but I didn’t want to get it pregnant, so that’s why I need to know how to put on a condom.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I guess you’d be happy to know that it is only a machine and therefore cannot get pregnant.”

Caller: “Aw, sweet!”

Me: “But I do need to point out that any liquid damage due to any related activities would void the warranty, and our technicians would not be able to accept it for any future repairs.”

Caller: *click*

1 Thumbs
1,605
VOTES

Now Hold Up A Minute

| Vernon, BC, Canada | Right | November 20, 2013

Me: “Hi, Mike speaking.”

Caller: “Hellooo?!”

Me: “Hi, Mike speaking.”

Caller: “Oh, thank goodness. Please tell your other associate he was incredibly rude and he needs better listening skills.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but who were you speaking with?”

Caller: “I’m not even sure. I was talking with some lady and she put me on hold. Then next thing I know, some guy picked up and wouldn’t stop talking about the mayor.”

Me: “…The mayor?”

Caller: “Yes. I kept telling him that I wasn’t interested and yet he kept talking about the bloody mayor. Then after that he just kept telling about the weather. He was very frustrating.”

Me: “Ma’am, that was our hold music. You were just listening to the news on the radio station that we use.”

Caller: *hangs up*

1 Thumbs
1,815
VOTES

Needs To Find A New Post

| UK | Right | November 20, 2013

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for [brand] aftershave lotion, but you don’t seem to have any!”

Me: “Did you look in the [brand] section? I think they do a few different ones actually. I’ll show you now.”

(I walk him to the section and show him a few.)

Me: “So, you’ve got this one, for sensitive skin, and this one is—”

Customer: “This isn’t AFTER shave! It says right here: ‘POST Shave Balm!”

Me: “Erm, actually ‘post’ means ‘after.'”

Customer: “…What do they pay you here?”

Me: “Around [salary] per hour.”

Customer: “Well, you deserve every penny of it! You’re a smart girl!” *mutters as he walks off* “Who knew that ‘post’ meant ‘after’…”

1 Thumbs
1,658
VOTES

A Sunny Disposition Vs. Unyielding Opposition

| BC, Canada | Right | November 20, 2013

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company], Mindy speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Well, MINDY, why the f*** isn’t my TV working?”

Me: “I have no idea. Let’s get a look at you account and see. Account number or phone number, please?”

Caller: *gives info* “Took long enough to get through. I waited here for over and hour!”

Me: “Thanks for the account info. Sorry about the long waits; we had some challenges earlier with certain equipment. Can you tell me what is happening on the screen of your TV when your PVR is on?”

Caller: “Wait, are you qualified for this?”

Me: “Yes, I am absolutely trained and ready to help out with your issue. It is actually a pretty easy fix, likely.”

Caller: “Are you sure you don’t need to transfer me to Tech?”

Me: “No, I am Tech.”

Caller: “A chick tech? Well, okay, but I hate wasting my time with people like you. It’s frozen… some grey and blue boxes.”

Me: “Thanks for the info. It is an easy fix like I suspected. Can you please disconnect the power cord from the PVR for about 15 seconds, and then plug it back in?”

Caller: “I’ve already done that a couple times, you know, because I’m not an idiot!”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, let’s try it again. Let me know when it is unplugged and I’ll check some things on my end while it is unplugged.”

Caller: “Seriously?” *sighs* “Okay. It’s unplugged.”

(I check his connection, and notice he’s still online.)

Me: “Oh, that’s weird. It seems like it is still online on my end. Are all of the lights off of the front of the box?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Oh, then it seems like you probably accidentally pulled the HDMI cord, not the power. Pull the power at the very right hand edge.”

(At this, I see the box go off.)

Me: “Awesome, thanks! Plug it back in now and let me know when the time shows.”

Caller: “Okay, the time is showing.”

Me: “Great! Let’s power it back on and see if everything is working. It all looks good on my end.”

Caller: “Yeah, it seems to be working.”

Me: “Awesome! Anything else I can help with tonight?”

Caller: “God, I f***ing hate when you you people say that! There are lots of things in my life I need help with, you stupid b****!”

Me: “Are any of those things issues with your Cable or Internet service?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Then I guess I’ve done my job! Thanks!” *click*

1 Thumbs
2,772
VOTES

Death Goes Shopping

| Right | November 20, 2013

Page 188/1,563First...186187188189190...Last
« Previous
Next »