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Outsmarted

| WA, USA | Romantic | November 21, 2013

(I have a very large chest. I am out with my husband and his friends for his birthday, and one of his friends is talking about a girl he’d recently been seeing. Another friend chimes in, cupping the area where a woman’s breasts would be.)

Friend: “She’s really smart!”

(My husband points to me.)

Husband: “You mean, super smart or just really smart?”

Hard Love

| London, England, UK | Romantic | November 21, 2013

(My girlfriend and I are both girls. We are about to have sex, and she is kissing my stomach.)

Me: “Come here, I need to kiss you.”

Girlfriend: “No time for any of this romantic s***! Go hard or go home!”

This Problem Needs To Be Licked

| Central America | Romantic | November 21, 2013

(I am in class, when my teacher tells us about a couple of students that she had seen earlier. She is quite angry and bothered.)

Teacher: “There were these students!”

Me: “What were they doing?”

(The teacher starts to make kissing noises and lovey-dovey sounds to represent what the students were doing.)

Teacher: “They were in the middle of the class, and you know what they were doing?”

Me: “What, miss?”

Teacher: “They were kissing and cuddling and SHARING a LOLLIPOP! And the girl was grabbing the guy and kissing him and just licking the lollipop and giving it to him!”

End Up Using Book Twice

| Learning | November 21, 2013

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It Was A Rough Draft

| IL, USA | Learning | November 21, 2013

(In order to help the students improve their public speaking skills in English class, I am having them give 30-second impromptu speeches. One particular student seems very enthusiastic to go.)

Student #1: “Oh! Oh! Oh! Can I go first?”

Me: “Sure, go ahead and go up to the podium.”

(The student runs up there and begins giving his speech. As he is talking, he suddenly starts slowly taking off his pants. The whole class starts shifting uncomfortably and giggling. Before I can stop him, the pants are off and he is standing up there in gym shorts. He ends his speech and sits back down as if everything that just happened was normal.)

Me: “Um… any other volunteers?”

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