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The Art Of Cooking Without Cooking

| TX, USA | Related | November 21, 2013

(My mom and step-dad are planning to cook enchiladas for dinner tonight.)

Mom: “Mija, can you cook the enchiladas tonight? I’m tired from work.”

Me: “Sure.”

Mom: “Thanks, I’ll sit in the living room if you have any questions.”

(Right after I’m done washing my hands, my mom comes into the kitchen already frying the tortillas. A few minutes later, my step-dad walks in and starts chopping onions.)

Step-Dad: “I’m gonna help out [My Name]; I don’t want you doing this by yourself.”

(I’m writing this story while both my parents are cooking the enchiladas that they had asked me to cook.)

Periodically Asking Funny Questions

| USA | Related | November 21, 2013

(I am waiting in line for the women’s bathroom with my mother. I start to examine a tampon and sanitary napkin vendor set in the wall. I am about seven years old.)

Me: “Mom, does anyone ever use these?”

Mom: “Hmm, probably. Why?”

Me: “I just don’t understand why anyone would pay 25 cents for a napkin when the paper towels are right over there!”

(Every woman within earshot cracks up, not that I understand why!)

Tetronimo Geronimo

| MA, USA | Related | November 21, 2013

(A family friend is traveling to England.)

Mom: “Did you see [Friend]’s status? She got to see the real Tetris!”

Me: “The what?”

Mom: “You know, the Tetris! The blue box thing from that weird show you watch!”

Me: “You mean the Tardis?”

Mom: “Yeah, whatever.”

Picking The Short Straw

| CA, USA | Related | November 21, 2013

(My sister and I are in the car on the way to school. She is 5, and I am 19. Note that I am a 4’11” woman.)

Sister: “[Name], when you are older, are you going to marry someone big, or someone small like you?”

Me: “Well, most men are taller than women.”

(My sister is very interested, apparently, in me having a short husband.)

Sister: “But he’ll be like an inch taller, right?”

Me: “We’ll have to wait and see, [Sister].”

Sister: *exasperated* “But [Name]! You get to CHOOSE who you marry!”

Long Distance Relationship

| Romantic | November 21, 2013


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