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Driving In Laps

| Ohrid, Macedonia | Right | November 21, 2013

(I used to work as a police officer back in old Yugoslavia. One summer night, I do a routine stop for a speeder. Surprisingly, it’s an old Fiat 500. I walk up and the window rolls down. I see the driver, a man. On his lap is a woman.)

Me: “Um, sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Man: “Yes, I think I was speeding.”

Me: “You think? Well, it’s also because you have a woman on your lap.”

Man: “What are you talking about? I don’t have anyone on my lap!”

Me: “Sir, I am not stupid. There is a woman on your lap!”

Man: “Officer, I assure you there is no woman on my lap! Have you been drinking tonight?”

Me: “Okay, then. Sir, please step out of the car.”

Man: “What? I’ve done nothing wron—”

Me: “Step out of the car, sir.”

(The man comes out and so does the woman on his lap. As they exit, I look into the car and see another man in the passenger seat, also with a woman on his lap.)

Me: “Everyone step out of the car!”

(The other man and his woman friend step out as well, but unbelievably I see another 6 women come out of the back seat, 3 of whom had been sitting on the other women’s laps. As they all line up in front of me, I still can’t believe my eyes. 10 people—2 men and 8 women—somehow piled into this one tiny little car. I was so astonished that I let them go! I just made sure no one was drunk and that the driver had an open lap. Even then, I still followed them home to make sure they didn’t get into a wreck.)

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A Detergent Deterrence

| Right | November 21, 2013

Boss Versus Leader

| Working | November 21, 2013

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Rattled Enough To Quit

| USA | Working | November 21, 2013

Me: “Hey [Manager], we need to change the oil in this fryer!”

Manager: “Why? You know how much trouble that is.”

Me: “Come see for yourself”

(The manager comes over and sees that there is a dead rat floating in the oil.)

Me: “See! We need to change the oil.”

Manager: “No, just get it out of there and heat it up. It will kill all of the germs.”

(That’s when I quit!)

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Radio Inactive

| MA, USA | Working | November 21, 2013

(I’m 33 weeks pregnant, and it’s pretty obvious. My GP has recommended a chest x-ray because she’s concerned I have an infection in my lungs. We discuss the risks of x-rays during pregnancy and decide we’re both fine with it. I worked with radiation in a previous job and have a thorough understanding of its dangers and how to safely work with it, so I’m not really worried. My doctor sends me over to radiology. The radiologist comes for me and I follow him into the x-ray room.)

Radiologist: “Is there any chance you might be pregnant?”

Me: “Well, yeah. 33 weeks.”

Radiologist: “What?! What are you doing here? Don’t you know you can’t have an x-ray while pregnant?”

Me: “I’m fine with it. My doctor recommends it, and I’ve worked with plenty of radioactivity in the past and I understand the dangers. We’re more worried I have a lung infection right now.”

Radiologist: “No, I can’t let you do this. It’s too risky.”

Me: “Really, it’s fine. I know the dangers. My doctor knows the dangers. We both agree an untreated infection is more dangerous to the health of the baby than a quick x-ray.”

Radiologist: “I just can’t do this.

(The radiologist walks away to find another radiologist. They discuss for a minute and he comes back looking defeated.)

Radiologist: “Fine. Are you SURE your doctor is okay with this?”

Me: “Don’t you have her order for this in your hand?”

(The radiologist ended up taking my x-ray. Thankfully, it ended up being a torn muscle, not an infection!)

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