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Will Need To Seriously Back Up

| Canada | Learning | November 22, 2013

(My mother is taking professional French training at a school very close to my university, and they have issued her a parking pass for the lot, which university students are not allowed to use. The pass is clearly hanging from the rearview mirror. Normally we carpool together but on this day she did not go in. I drive myself to school and park in the lot like I do every day. An older man who I assume works for the school pulls in at the same time as me. I get out of my car, put my headphones in and begin walking away from the French school.)

Man: “Hey!”

(I have my headphones in, so I barely hear him, but since I am legally parked I assume he is not addressing me and keep walking.)

Man: “Hey! Lady!”

(Just as I turn around, he is right behind me. He roughly grabs my shoulder and spins me around.)

Me: “Hey! Ow! What the h***, dude?”

Man: “How many times do I have to tell you f***ing college kids to move your d*** cars! No student parking! Idiot b****!”

(He shoves me a few feet back towards my car. I just stare at him, and point at my windshield, where the pass is hanging.)

Me: “Maybe if you checked my godd*** window first, you’d find that I’m legally parked! Second, my mother is [government official in the justice system], and she’s a student here, so you better believe she’s going to hear about the staff member who assaulted me in the parking lot. Are you going to apologize, or do I have to go in and talk to your boss about checking passes before verbally or physically harassing them?”

(The man turns beet red and storms off, muttering. I tell my mother about the incident, and she relays it to the director of the French school. The next time I see the man in the parking lot, he rushes inside and glares out me out of the window until I’m out of sight.)

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Doesn’t Read Them As A Rule

| UK | Learning | November 22, 2013

(Our library lends laptop computers to students overnight as well as weekends and over half-term holidays. The rules, which students must read every time they borrow, clearly state that if the laptop is not returned on the day it is due back, a daily fine is incurred, including for the days that we are closed. A signature is required to say that they have read and agree to these rules. This takes place two days after a week-long holiday.)

Student: “I tried to return this last Monday, but you were shut, so I couldn’t.”

Me: “The library was closed all last week for the college holiday. I see here from the record that the laptop was due back on the previous Friday, however, so there will be an £11 fine.”

Student: “HOW much?! That’s outrageous! I’m not paying that!”

Me: “Unfortunately, if you don’t pay the fine, you won’t be allowed to use the library computers or borrow any items.”

Student: “This is ridiculous! There’s no way I’m paying such a big fine! Why
is it so high?”

Me: “There’s a daily charge of £1 for each day a laptop is late. As it says—”

Student: “I didn’t know about that! Nobody said anything about that! Why is there a charge if you were closed?”

Me: “As it says in the rules…”

(I read the relevant rule aloud, trying several times to make myself heard as she loudly complains.)

Student: “I never read that!”

(I point to her signature on the sign-out sheet.)

Me: “You signed here to say that you had read the rules.”

Student: “Yes, I know I signed it, but I never read them!”

He’s (The Great) Beyond Help

| Mobile, AL, USA | Learning | November 22, 2013

(We are discussing social cues in Jane Austen’s “Sense and Sensibility.”)

Professor: “Catherine is incapable of understanding social cues. There are various ways that we act in different situations, and some of them aren’t always appropriate.”

Classmate: “You mean… because some people are rude?”

Professor: “Not exactly. I, for example, have a problem with laughing at funerals.”

Me: “…What?!”

Professor: “It’s not what you think! I was at the funeral of my dearly beloved’s funeral, and while the coffin was there, I looked across the street. There was this strip mall there, and suddenly I saw Bed, Bath…” *dramatic pause* “…and BEYOND!”

Loss Prevention

| Right | November 21, 2013

LP-MEME

How Customer Service Works

| Right | November 21, 2013

-Funny-Customer-service-MEME-LOL

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