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Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 8

| UK | Romantic | November 22, 2013

(I’m stuck in traffic on my way to collect my wife after work. She tends to wander around the nearby shops whenever this happens. I text her while I’m waiting at road works.)

Me: “Traffic is really bad. What are you up to?”

Wife: “Looking for Christmas presents, and conducting bombing runs in the home-ware shop.”

Me: “…What?”

(There is a pause, and then I realise what she is doing.)

Me: “You’re farting in the aisles and running away, aren’t you?”

Wife: “Yup!”

Me: “I love you.”

(At least she got it all out before I got there!)

Related:
Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 7
Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 6
Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 5
Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 4
Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 3
Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 2
Can You Smell The Love Tonight

Getting The Skinny

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Romantic | November 22, 2013

(The guy I am dating hasn’t kissed me yet. I finally ask him why.)

Date: “Well, I feel like it’s not a good idea.”

Me: “Why’s that?”

Date: “Well… I like you and all. You’re smart, funny, and your body is Rubenesque and beautiful.”

Me: “Aww.”

Date: “Yeah, three years ago I would’ve been into you, but I like skinny girls now. I don’t know…”

(I never went out with him again.)

A Room With A View

| AB, Canada | Romantic | November 22, 2013

(My boyfriend of a year and I are cuddling during lunch. A guy we don’t like walks up to us with a smirk on his face.)

Guy: “Get a room!”

Boyfriend: *turning to me* “Sounds good to me.”

Me: *catching on* “Can I bring what I did last time?”

Boyfriend: “Just like last time, as long as you do the same things.”

(My boyfriend leans forward and starts kissing me. The guy turns bright red and runs away. He never bothers us again, and for the next week he can’t look either of us in the face.)

Sesquipedalianistism

| Learning | November 22, 2013

Smothered In It Bacon

| Learning | November 22, 2013

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