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Hair Raising Expectations

| MD, USA | Romantic | November 23, 2013

(My hair is shoulder-length, and currently in a ponytail.)

Me: “I want three daughters. Maybe a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.”

(A realization kicks in.)

Me: “But then I’d have to comb their hair every morning.”

Boyfriend: “What, you don’t trust me to do it?”

(I undo my ponytail, and hand him the hair-tie.)

Me: “Comb is over there.”

Boyfriend: “…I see your point.”

Bus Or Bust

| UK | Romantic | November 23, 2013

(My boyfriend of over a year and I are talking online about our plans for the next day. I recently switched school buses after moving, but one day a week I go to a song-writing class in the city I used to live in, so I’m on the same bus as him. At our school there are two after school buses per route: the early one straight after school, and the late one.)

Me: “So I’ll be going to song-writing tomorrow; early bus, yeah?”

Boyfriend: “Actually, I’ll be on the late bus.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Boyfriend: “I want to go to the gym as often as possible.”

Me: “You know, this is exactly the sort of thing that would make a PARANOID person think there was another woman.”

Boyfriend: “Why’s that?”

Me: “We both miss each other on the bus, but the one day a week I can actually get the same bus as you, and you want to stay late to work on your fitness, therefore becoming more attractive.”

Boyfriend: “You’ve been reading too much ‘Not Always Romantic.’ You’re addicted; I told you.”

Me: “Babe, switch the roles here: one day a week you take my bus, and that’s the day I’ve chosen to go to the gym, even though we go together on Mondays. Wouldn’t you think something was up?”

Boyfriend: “…I’ll get the early bus tomorrow.”

Me: “You better.”

Not To Subtract From The Situation

| Learning | November 23, 2013

Individually Idiotic

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Learning | November 23, 2013

(The professor in this story and I have something of an understanding: I’ll be impossible, and she’ll be fine with it as long as I don’t have a problem with her fighting back.)

Me: “Why is it necessary for us to work in groups on activities that could be completed way more efficiently if we did them alone?”

Professor: “Well, there’s this little thing called teamwork.”

Me: “There may not be an ‘I’ in ‘team’, but there IS an ‘I’ in ‘individuality!'”

Professor: “There’s also an ‘I’ in ‘idiot.'”

Self-Checkout

| Right | November 22, 2013

picard self checkout

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