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A Bitter Pill To Swallow

| MA, USA | Working | November 23, 2013

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my prescription.”

Pharmacist: “What’s the name?”

Me: “[Name], that’s [N-A-M-E].”

Pharmacist: “[N-A-M-E]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “We don’t have a prescription under that name.”

Me: “Could you look again? It should have been sent over from [School] this morning.”

Pharmacist: *without checking* “We don’t have it.”

Me: “Could you check your computers to see if you got the order?”

Pharmacist: *checks computer* “Oh! Yeah, we got the order. [Medicine] has been backordered for weeks, so no one has it.”

Me: “I see. So, you just didn’t fill the order?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah. We couldn’t.”

Me: “And you didn’t call the number in my file or my doctor to let them know the medication wasn’t available?”

Pharmacist: “We can’t just call EVERY person who orders this! That would take forever!”

Me: “So it’s better that EVERY person who needed that medication should come all the way down here just to hear that their prescription can’t be filled?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah.”

Me: *furious*

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Not Taking His Job Deathly Seriously

| Portland, OR, USA | Working | November 23, 2013

(As a funeral rep for a newspaper, I have to call numerous funeral homes to verify death for legal reasons.)

Funeral Home Director: “Thanks for calling [Funeral Home]. Can I assist you?”

Me: “Yes, I’m calling to verify someone’s death. Last name is [Last Name].”

Funeral Home Director: “Oh yeah, they just wheeled her in. I’ll be throwing her in the incinerator in a few minutes. Here’s hoping she’s dead!” *chuckles*

Me: “…”

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Never Too Young For Parental Guidance

| Porirua, New Zealand | Related | November 23, 2013

(We are sitting at the table eating dinner when my four-year-old son turns to me looking quite concerned.)

Four-Year-Old: “Mum, I want to be a Dad and have kids, but I don’t know how to make kids.”

Seven-Year-Old: “Don’t worry; you don’t have to do anything. God just puts the baby in the mummy’s tummy.”

(My two-year-old is determined to join in the conversation.)

Two-Year-Old: “When I’m a mum, will I be a kid?”

Me: “Oh sweetheart, I hope not.”

She Could Do A Lot Verse

| NY, USA | Related | November 23, 2013

(I am a single female away at college tidying English. I am friends with my parents on Facebook to keep in touch. Earlier in the day I studied the poetry of John Keats, a 19th century poet, in class.)

My Status: “Confession: Keats has stolen my heart!”

Dad: “Who’s this Keats guy?”

Hair Raising Expectations

| MD, USA | Romantic | November 23, 2013

(My hair is shoulder-length, and currently in a ponytail.)

Me: “I want three daughters. Maybe a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.”

(A realization kicks in.)

Me: “But then I’d have to comb their hair every morning.”

Boyfriend: “What, you don’t trust me to do it?”

(I undo my ponytail, and hand him the hair-tie.)

Me: “Comb is over there.”

Boyfriend: “…I see your point.”

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