(I work security at a local college. I am currently in what is supposed to be a twelve-hour shift, but daylight saving time has rolled back one hour and made the shift thirteen hours. Coworker #1 and I have just returned to the dispatch after doing a check of the school very early in the morning. Coworker #1 also happens to be a Native American.)

Coworker #1: “Well, that was depressing.”

Coworker #2: “What?”

Me: “We were just in the gymnasium. The clock on the scoreboard hasn’t rolled back automatically. So it told us we were an hour away from our shift’s end, when we are actually two.”

Coworker #2: “Daylight saving is stupid.”

Coworker #1: “I just remember what my elders had said when told about it. ‘Only the white man’s government could believe cutting the top off a blanket and sewing it to the bottom would make the blanket longer.'”

Coworker #2: “Wouldn’t it? I mean now you have those extra stitches in there, blanket might be a bit heavier.”

(The two go back and forth a bit before I speak up again.)

Me: “You do realize that regardless of the blanket’s length, our shift is still 13 hours.”

Coworker #1: “F*** crochet.”

This story is part of our Native-American roundup.

Want to read the first story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

(We are watching the movie ‘Cars’ with the extended family. Suddenly, I realize there are cars all ages, even couples, but no children.)

Me: “I wonder where little cars come from…”

Nephew: *sighs* “Well, Auntie, you know when a mummy car and a daddy car love each other very much, and want kids, they go the hospital and they plant a seed. Once the baby is ready, a stork-copter will bring it to his mum and dad, who will love it and let it grow.”

My Mum: “You are right [Grandson]. See Auntie, that was a stupid question!”

(I’m unable to respond since I’m laughing so hard.)

(I work in a call center dealing with Americans and insurance claims. A caller calls from Washington state.)

Caller: “Where am I calling to?”

Me: “That would be Halifax, Nova Scotia, sir.”

Caller: “Where’s that?”

Me: “That’s in Canada, sir.”

Caller: “Whoa… so that’s like a foreign country?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we’re located above the US.”

Caller: “Really? You learn something new every day!”

(After the call ends…)

Supervisor: “You should have told him Nova Scotia and Canada were suburbs of New York.”

This story is part of our Canada Day roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

November 2013 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for last month!

1. Respect The Uniform (2,796 thumbs up)
2. Mile High Blood Pressure (2,727 thumbs up)
3. A Walk-In That Runs Out (2,585 thumbs up)
4. Tour Guides Are Ready To Answer All Questions And ‘The Question’ (2,510 thumbs up)
5. Taking Account Of Your Actions (2,413 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

(I’m working at one of the express lanes in a big-box retailer. A woman and her husband approach with a full cart but since it is a slow night, I agree to take them. I scan everything they have, and the couple is overly chipper and pleasant until it comes time to pay.)

Me: “Alright, you’re all set! It’ll be [price].”

(The customer holds out her card.)

Me: “Oh! Sorry, go ahead and swipe your card right here.”

(I tap the credit card machine.)

Customer: “Sheesh! Sorry! It’s been a long day! It’s going to be credit.”

(The customer slides the card through.)

Me: “Alright, then just hit cancel, and select credit.”

(I hit the credit key on my side when she agrees to the amount and selects credit. She signs and then hits ‘OK.’ The receipt prints and I hand it to her.)

Me: “Here you go! Have a nice night!”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “Your receipt?”
Customer: “Why are you giving me the receipt?! I wanted to pay a different way too!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, if you had informed me prior to sliding your card I could have processed it but—”

(The customer slams her hands on the counter.)

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place!? Now I’m overdrawn!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I really am. I understand the problem but there’s nothing I can do. If I had known before hand I would have told you but you didn’t tell me you wanted to pay using more than one method.”

Customer: “You should have known!”

Me: “Ma’am, you can take your receipt to customer service and they can reverse the charge. I don’t know if it will help but the money will go back in a few days.”

Customer: “This is stupid! You people need to anticipate our needs!”

(The customer grabs the receipt and storms off towards customer services. Her husband just rolls his eyes at her and trails along with the cart. She demands that we pay her overdraft fees, throws a huge fit, and has to be dragged out by her husband!)