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Trur Lurve

| Orlando, FL, USA | Romantic | December 9, 2013

(My boyfriend is trying to convince me to watch another episode of a show we have recently started watching. I’m tired, as I have worked all day, and we started watching the episodes right after I got home.)

Boyfriend: “Just one more episode! Pleeeeeasee!”

Me: “No! We’ve watched three already!”

Boyfriend: “Pleeeaseeeeeee?

(My boyfriend starts putting on the next episode.)

Me: “No! Lurrveee merrrr! Err nerrd lurrve, lurve merrrr!”

Boyfriend: “Er lurve yer ser heeerrrdddd.”

Me: “…man, we have perbremmms.”

Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 28

| Reading, PA, USA | Romantic | December 9, 2013

Me: “Hun, if I got bitten by a zombie what would you do?”

Boyfriend: “That depends; are you a rotting pile of flesh, or like a virus goes-crazy-but-is-still-alive kind?”

Me: “Let’s go with the virus.”

Boyfriend: “Then I would tie you to my bed and muzzle you, so that you can’t hurt me, and I can cuddle you every night and still love you.”

Me: “Aww. When you said tie me to your bed, I totally thought you were going somewhere else with that.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah…”

 

So Scary It Keeps You ‘Up All Night’

| USA | Learning | December 9, 2013

(It is Halloween. Everyone is chattering excitedly. My English teacher waves to quiet us down. There is a journaling prompt on the board: ‘Write about something that scares you.’)

Teacher: “So, what did you guys write in your journals? What scares you guys?”

(A few people respond but most of us are silent.)

Teacher: “Let me see if I can give you some inspiration.”

(She then proceeds to pull up a photo of a scary clown. No one says anything.)

Teacher: “No? How about this?”

(She then pulls up a photo from ‘The Shining’ of the man sticking his head through the hole in the wall. Still it is silent.)

Teacher: “Really? Nobody? Okay. Last one.”

(The final image is an image of One Direction. Most of the students are boys or tomboyish girls.)

Class: *screams*

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It’s Beginning To Sound A Lot Like Christmas

| TX USA | Learning | December 9, 2013

(My algebra class has a packet of work to do to review for an upcoming test. I offer to play old-fashioned Christmas songs for them as they work, as long as they are quiet. We get to one song. I talk to them.)

Me: “If you can name the singer, you get bonus points!”

(No one has any idea. Good guesses are made of Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, and Bing Crosby, but no one gets the correct answer. On the whiteboard where we are working out math problems, I began to write.)

Me: “G-E-N-E A-U-T—”

(A student, suddenly sure of the answer, calls out.)

Student: “Gene Austism! I get the bonus points! Yay! Go me!”

(It took me a bit of composure to complete the name: Gene Autry. No bonus points were awarded, but the class did well on their review packets! Christmas music gets you going!)

Losing His Class

| AB, Canada | Learning | December 9, 2013

(At my high school, my physical education teacher is known for being somewhat sadistic. He runs his classes long. This always makes us late for math class. We bring this to his attention one day. He says he’ll drop by our math class and smooth things over with our math teacher. True to his word, he comes into our math class the next day.)

Physical Education Teacher: “Hey, [Math Teacher]. Got a minute?”

Math Teacher: “Yeah. What’s going on?”

Physical Education Teacher: “I understand these kids are telling you that my classes run long, making them late for your class.”

Math Teacher: “That’s true.”

Physical Education Teacher: “Yeah. So, I just wanted to let you know that I try to end my class on time so they can get here. But these kids always tell me that they hate your class and that you can go f*** yourself.”

Math Teacher: “What?”

Physical Education Teacher: “Yeah. I don’t know what they’re doing between our classes, but I always let them go on time. You’d better shape up and make your class more fun; then these kids might want to be here!”

(The physical education teacher leaves. We all begin to protest our innocence. The math teacher calms us down.)

Math Teacher: “Don’t worry guys. I know he’s full of s***. He’s just… like that.”

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