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There Are Verse Places To Work

| CA, USA | Working | December 9, 2013

(Our office is filled with IT people, which means we may be working odd hours or away from the office. As a result, we keep each other updated through email. One of my coworkers has worked late one night, and discovered her car had a flat tire. This is how she informed our office that she’d be late the next day:)

Coworker #1:
“A large metal rod has been found,
In between my car’s wheel and the ground.
Though the car’s not at fault,
The dramatic result,
Is the tire is no longer quite round.”

(I am the first to read the email. I feel I have to respond appropriately… in haiku.)

Me:
“When road debris strikes,
There is but one thing to do:
Curse the parking lot.”

(This opens the floodgates.)

Coworker #2:
“I feel for you and I believe you’re wronged,
And blame your car for wheels are not its strength.
I would go on in this same vein at length,
But on my desk my daily tasks are thronged.”

Coworker #3:
“Blame not the victim of dread circumstance,
Are you at fault should something prick your toe?
The tire is deflated enough by chance,
Puff it to round and watch [Name’s] best car go!”

(The CEO of our company then joins in, who is not to be outdone.)

CEO:
“The happy tire revolves the live-long day,
Never to give [Name] cause for slightest care,
But meeting rod, is punctured; losing air,
Becomes a cause of grief and great delay.

And now the tire that once was round and gay,
Is flat and [Name] must seek for quick repair.
She takes her car a new direction where,
She finds relief but fears the price to pay.

For tires purchased must installed be,
And lo the seller will total cost:
Not just for tire but all the special care,
To balance, mount plus tax, recycling fee…
Gives cause to ponder all that has been lost,
Not seeing rod in road and driving there.”

(Finally, after getting her tire fixed, the first coworker sends a short message.)

Coworker #1: “I pity my friends who work at ‘normal’ companies with ‘normal’ people.”

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A Time For Giving, And Returning

| Thousand Oaks, CA, USA | Working | December 9, 2013

(I work in a discount retailer. It is a few weeks after Christmas. All our Christmas merchandise had been marked down 90%. We have a rule that anyone returning Christmas clearance cannot just turn around and re-purchase it for the discounted price. They have to wait until it has been re-shelved. A customer comes in with a full cart.)

Customer: “I want to return these and repurchase them.”

Me: “You will have to wait for the merchandise to hit the floor before you can repurchase it.”

(The customer immediately starts yelling at me. I get a manager. Unfortunately, the manager on duty is something of a jerk.)

Manager: “You will have to process the return, and then resell the customer the merchandise.”

(Upon hearing this, the customer goes back outside. The customer returns with TWO MORE carts full of Christmas décor, with a total of FOUR different receipts the purchases were made on. After 20 minutes of trying to sort out which things were on which receipts, I go back to the manager’s office to see if I can get some help. As I try to explain the problem to my manager, the HEAD manager walks in. After hearing the situation, I get sent on an extra long break. My manager gets chewed out and sent back out to the floor.)

Head Manager: *to manager* “Start all over again if you have to. You started this. It’s all your problem!”

(Afterwards my manager was suspended for three days.)

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A Senior Reason To Hang Up

| USA | Working | December 9, 2013

(I get a phone call at home.)

Telemarketer: “Hello! I’m calling to let you know that you’ve qualified for a free three-month trial of our medical alert system. When can I arrange delivery of your system?”

Me: “I don’t need a medical alert system.”

Telemarketer: “Many people think they don’t need the system; however, you know that every year thousands of seniors will fall and break a bone. Without the ability to summon help, you may lie on your floor for hours or even days before someone finds you!”

Me: “I’m 25. If I fall I will put some ice on it.”

Telemarketer: “But don’t you want to be safe! What if you fall down your stairs? What if you slip in your bathtub?”

Me: “I’ll take my chances, thank you.”

Telemarketer: “But wait! It’s free for the first three months! Wouldn’t you like to try it!?”

Me: “No, thank you. I really don’t need it.”

Telemarketer: “FINE! I hope you fall down the stairs and break both your legs!

Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 6

| FL, USA | Working | December 9, 2013

(I’ve been sick this past week and I go to the clinic at 9 am. They tell me they will call in the prescription at 10 am. At 2 pm, I go to check the prescription.)

Pharmacist: “I have no prescription here under your name.”

Me: “The clinic said it would be ready by 10 am. Let me call them.”

(I call the clinic.)

Me: “Hello. I have a prescription that hasn’t been put through yet. I need to make sure I am at the right pharmacy.”

(I am promptly transferred without a word to the women’s clinic line, which is the incorrect department. I am instructed to leave a message, as the nurses are out to lunch.)

Me: “Um, hi. I am [My Name]. I was just wondering where my prescription was sent. It’s not at the pharmacy and—” *I cough and my head immediately begins to ache terribly. I sniffle and tear up* “—if you could please help me that’d be nice.”

(I hang up and go home. At 3 pm I go to the clinic to verify the location of the pharmacy. They tell me the order has been sent, and to wait a couple hours. I go home yet again. At 5 pm I get a call from the women’s clinic number at which I left the message.)

Nurse: “Hello, is this [My Name]? You left a message a couple hours ago.”

Me: “Yes. I’m sorry, I was trying to find out where my prescription was. I already checked back with the clinic and they told me where the prescription would be.”

Nurse: “Everything’s alright, though? This is the wrong department for your call, but since you’ve had the prescription filled…”

Me: “Well… no… I called the pharmacy and the prescription still hasn’t been ordered yet.”

Nurse: “Oh. Let me get on that. I’ll make sure they get it filled out.”

Me: “Okay.”

Nurse: “I will call you back in a minute, sweetie.”

(The nurse hangs up and calls back a few minutes later.)

Nurse: “Okay, I’ve gotten them to fill out your prescription and the pharmacy should have it soon. You are taking [Medicine], which is two pills twice a day. No matter how bad it is, take all of them. You can take decongestants and ibuprofen to deal with the congestion and pain. And, honey, popsicles are your best friends. Drink lots of fluids and warm tea, and get plenty of rest.”

(At this point, the nurse’s concern has caused me to tear up.)

Me: “Thank you so much! I’ve been dealing with this for a week.”

Nurse: “You just sound so sick, sweetie. I called the pharmacy and told them to work extra quick on your order. The pharmacists name is [Name]. She’ll have your prescription ready as soon as she can.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Nurse: “You feel better, honey.”

(To that nurse: you had me sobbing. You cared so much and it wasn’t even your department. You helped me and told me more about my medicine than the doctor in the CORRECT department did. I’m so grateful there are people as nice as you working in the women’s clinic.!)

Related:
From NotAlwaysRight
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

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Santa Cause And Effect

| OH, USA | Related | December 9, 2013

(I am four years old and normally a very shy child. My mother has brought me to a ‘Breakfast with Santa’ function at a department store. Santa is inviting children up on stage to sing a song.)

Mom: “Go up there!”

Me: “I don’t want to.”

Mom: “I said, go up there and sing!”

(I make my way up to the stage with my head down. Santa hands me the microphone. My mind goes completely blank. Then, suddenly, I belt out a song I heard my mother singing the other day.)

Me:JINGLE BELLS! SHOT-GUN SHELLS! BULLETS IN THE AIR! OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO SEE, GRANDPA’S UNDERWEAR!

(The audience explodes laughing. I look over to see my mother with her head down on our table, hiding her face. She never forced me to get on a stage again!)

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