(I have worn a Luigi hat most of the time for a year, so I do respond to ‘Luigi’ with people trying to get my attention. My boyfriend and I are walking around when he sees something in a shop window.)

Boyfriend: “Stay here! I’ll be right back!”

(He rushes into the store, and comes out a few minutes later with a Mario hat to match mine.)

Me: “Aww, you shouldn’t have!”

Boyfriend: “Yes, I should. It’s always Mario and Luigi, so if you’re Luigi, I’ll be Mario!”

Me: “I love you.”

(We walked around, hand in hand, with matching hats for the rest of the day.)

(I am nineteen, and volunteering at an elementary school.)

Student: “Do you have kids?”

Me: “No, I don’t have kids.”

Student: “Then do you have a baby?”

Me: *unsure of the distinction* “Nope. No babies and no kids.”

Student: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

(I’m a lesbian, but this kid is very young and slightly impaired, so I decide not to complicate the conversation.)

Me: “No, no boyfriend.”

Student: “So, you don’t have a baby or a boyfriend?!”

Me: “No.”

Student: “Then you’re just a kid!”

(I call home to talk to my father. I am checking up on him since he has a few health problems. We’re finishing up the conversation.)

Me: “Well, I’d better go. I have to work at 6 tomorrow morning.”

Dad: “Oh, I’ll be getting ready for work then. I’ll be thinking about you when I’m in the shower.”

Me: “Umm…thanks dad.”

(My dad and I walk into a fast-food restaurant.)

Me: “Okay, so mommy wanted the nuggets, and sis wanted—”

Dad: *squealing with delight* “Oh my gosh! They have Pokémon toys now!”

(He runs off to order a happy meal.)

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(As a girl, I sometimes complain that I have dark, thick arm hair. My 8-year-old brother decides to cheer me up about it.)

Brother: “Stop complaining, woman! You have a superpower! Not everyone can be Wolverine!”