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The World According To This Cashier

| Reno, NV, USA | Working | October 10, 2012

(As I am checking out at a big box store, the cashier, who looks to be in her early 40s, starts her talk about getting a store credit card.)

Cashier: “Have you heard about our card? No interest for 30 days.”

Me: “I am sorry, I don’t live in the States, so I am not interested. Thanks anyway.”

Cashier: “Oh? Where do you live?”

Me: “We have been living in Canada for the past four years, but we are moving to Israel next week.”

Cashier: “Oh! How exciting! Well you know, we ship free to all 50 states!”

Me: “Um, yeah… that’s not really going to help me.”

Cashier: “Oh? Where is Israel anyway? Is that one of those places overseas? Like really far away?”

Me: “Um, yeah… it’s overseas…”

Discretion Is The Better Part Of Disclosure

| England, UK | Working | October 10, 2012

Coworker: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need… um…”

(The customer is clearly too embarrassed to speak, so she pulls out a piece of paper and writes what she wants down.)

Coworker: *reads the paper and looks over at me* “HEY, [my name], WHERE DO WE KEEP THE THRUSH CREAM?”

Me: *facepalm*

Who Knew

| Montana, USA | Working | October 10, 2012

(I work at a call center, and am a huge Doctor Who fan so I have quite a few Doctor Who paraphernalia on my desk, which includes a Tardis bobble head that makes the ‘wooshing’ sounds when you hit a button. On day I am reading a book during a lull between calls when suddenly I sense someone behind me. I turn around to find our head maintenance guy. He is about 6’2″, burly, and has the longest beard and hair. He looks like a mountain man and has a gravelly, monotone voice.)

Me: *nervously* “Hey, [maintenance guy], what’s up?”

Maintenance Guy: *continues to stare at my desk*

(I start to think something is wrong at this point, and wonder if I’m in trouble for my decor.)

Me: “Is there something wrong? Do I have too many—”

Maintenance Guy: “What sounds does it make when you press the button?”

Me: “…Huh?”

Maintenance Guy: “The button on your Tardis… what sounds does it make?”

(I reach up and press the button. It starts to make the Tardis sound.)

Me: “You watch Doctor Who?”

Maintenance Guy: “H*** yeah. That’s awesome.” *nods his head and walks away*

Coworker: “What the h*** just happened?”

Me: “I’m… not sure.”

(Suffice to say, almost every day our maintenance guy stops by my desk, waits until I hit the button, and then walks away while nodding.) 

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Big Brothers Suck

| Related | October 10, 2012

Educational Sports

| Brooklyn Park, MN, USA | Related | October 10, 2012

(My grandmother has always been a huge football fan. It always amuses the family to see her, with her curly white hair and spectacles, screaming at the top of her lungs at the football game. I am about 6 years old, my brother is 8, and grandma is watching an important game when my uncle calls.)

Grandma: *to my uncle* “What do you want, make it quick, I’m watching the game! …Yeah, the kids are here… What? No I’m not teaching my grandkids new words…” *suddenly, to the TV* “What the **** are you doing?!”

(She lets out a string of expletives at the bad play, then returns to my uncle.)

Grandma: *to my uncle* “Yes, I’m teaching them new words! Goodbye!” *hangs up*

(My parents brought my brother and me to play in another room for the rest of the game that day.)

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