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The Tougher They Are, The Carder They Fall

| Everett, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

Customer: “I would like to return this dress. I don’t have my receipt, but I paid for it with a credit card.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I can take care of that.”

(After running her credit card and scanning the item to see if there is a matching transaction, nothing comes up.)

Me: “I’m sorry, looks like there’s nothing matching this item on this credit card. Did you maybe pay with a different one?”

Customer: “NO! I always pay with THIS credit card here. There’s no way it could be on anything else!”

Me: “Okay, maybe the cashier who did this made a mistake. Let me try a few things…”

(I run the card several times, trying to manually match it with one of the 28 different size combinations my store has.)

Me: “Yeah, I’m sorry. There’s nothing coming up on this card.”

Customer: “Well, then what do we do from here?”

Me: “Well, you can either exchange this item for the same thing in another size or color, or we can send you a merchandise credit by mail.”

Customer: “No! I paid for this item with THIS CARD! I’d like to see a manager!”

Me: “Absolutely…”

(I walkie my manager a few times. She finally comes over after five minutes.)

Manager: “Now, what’s the matter?”

Me: “I’m trying to return her dress. She doesn’t have her receipt. So, I tried to pull it up on her card, but nothing happening.”

Manager: “Did you try another credit card?”

Customer: “NO! It’s definitely on THIS CARD! It’s the only card I use here!”

Manager: “It’s not coming up on that card, though, so we have no proof of purchase. I’m not supposed to, but I can issue you a merchandise credit now, and if you find your receipt later, I can redeem it for cash.”

Customer: “No! I want that dress credited back to the card before my next bill!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that without a proof of purchase. I’m sorry, but that’s not worth losing my job over!”

Me: “Look, shot in the dark here—hail mary—we’ll just do this for the fun of it. Let’s just try one of your other credit cards. What do you have to lose?”

Customer: “FINE! If it was any card it would be this one, but I KNOW it wont work!”

(I run the card and scan the dress…)

Me: “Hey look, a match. Okay, $29.94 will be credited back to THIS card. Thanks for coming in. You have a GREAT night!”

(The customer pulls down her shades, looks down, and mumbles quickly.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry. Bye…”

One Bloody Scary On The Shocks

| Sydney, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working at the bar on a particularly busy night and I don’t realise that I have cut one of my fingers. As I hand a customer his drink, I notice a bit of blood on the glass.)

Me: “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I must have cut myself. Let me remake that for you!”

Customer: “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

Me: “No, I cut myself and there’s a bit of blood on that glass. Please, let me give you a new one.”

(Before I can take the glass back, the customer picks it up.)

Customer: “I like it this way. Don’t worry!”

Me: “But—”

(The customer turns the glass around and drinks from the side with my blood.)

Customer: *grinning* “Mmmm, delicious! Thanks!”

Me: *horrified*

Cool, Cream, And Corrected

| Maine, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

(At the coffee shop where I work, my coworker, Coworker #1, is from South America. He has a very thick accent, but his English comprehension and speech is otherwise perfect. A customer comes through drive-thru and orders two extra large coffees with a whopping eight servings of cold cream. A few moments later, he comes back to complain.)

Customer: “I have a problem!”

Coworker #1: “What’s the issue, sir?”

Customer: “My coffee is stone cold!”

Coworker #1: “Okay, I’ll remake that for you. It was eight creams, right?”

Customer: “Yes, and I’d like them to be actually warm this time.”

Coworker #1: *remakes both coffees* “Here you are. Have a good day!”

(The man leaves, but comes back a few minutes later. He’s still fuming. Another coworker of mine helps him.)

Customer: “This is unacceptable!”

Coworker #2: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “You can remake my coffee again, and this time I’d like it to not be so godd*** cold!”

Coworker #2: “Okay…” *turns to my South American coworker* “Could you remake this again? I need to finish cleaning the flavor shot station.”

Coworker #1: “Of course!”

Customer: “NO! No, he’s not touching them!”

(At this point, the manager hears the noise and comes out.)

Manager: “Okay, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “I’m so sick of your employees!”

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “That f***ing foreigner of yours keeps f***ing up my coffees! You either need to make him learn f***ing English or send him back to wherever the f*** he came from! I want hot coffee, NOT hot coffee that’s STONE COLD!”

Manager: “Okay, firstly don’t swear at me. Secondly, he speaks and understands English perfectly so don’t say he can’t understand you. I will remake your coffees this time if it humors you. What was in them?”

Customer: “Eight creams!”

Manager: *pauses for a moment* “Seriously?”

Customer: “YES!”

Manager: “You do realize that adding EIGHT cold creams to a coffee will cool them off, right?”

Customer: “What?”

Manager: “If you add that much cream—which is chilled—to a coffee, it will cool it off. It’s not my employees’ fault. Now, have a nice day and please leave my store!”