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Voracity Is The Mother Of Intervention

| Ontario, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(This occurs when I’m bringing desserts and coffee to a table with two customers—one middle-aged woman and one elderly woman.)

Me: “Here you go. Is there anything else I can get for you ladies?”

Middle-aged Customer: “An extra fork, please.”

Me: “I’ll get you one right away.”

(After I return with her fork…)

Elderly Customer: “Excuse me, but my coffee is far too strong.”

Middle-aged Customer: “…and old. I tried some, and it’s clearly been sitting for a long time.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about the strength, although I actually made that coffee after you ordered it. I can make you another less strong one if you’d like.”

Elderly Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I leave, make her a new coffee at half-strength and come back to return it, at which point they’ve eaten all of their dessert.)

Me: “Here you go.”

Middle-aged Customer: “Excuse me, but the mango cheesecake was far too sweet.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. The cheesecake is something they make in the kitchen, but I’ll certainly let them know for you.”

Middle-aged Customer: “Could I maybe get a discount on it, or have it for free because of that?”

Me: “Um… I can ask the chef for you, but I don’t think he’ll say yes, since you finished the whole thing.”

Middle-aged Customer: “Well, I didn’t mention this earlier, but my dinner was also too salty.”

Me: “Again, I can let them know, and ask about a discount, but you ate the whole thing, so I doubt I’ll be allowed to reduce the price for you.”

Middle-aged Customer: “The scallops in it were mushy, too!”

Me: “Well, they were breaded scallops and the dish you ordered was very saucy. It’s unfortunately unavoidable that they’d get somewhat soft from the sauce. Again, I can talk to the kitchen for you, but I doubt there’ll be any result.”

Middle-aged Customer: “Hmm…” *to the elderly customer* “Did we order any appetizers?”

Elderly Customer: “The appetizer was delicious, you said so yourself. Now stop trying to get freebies and let the poor girl go do her job. There’s other people at other tables that you’re keeping her from helping by holding her here with all your complaints.”

Middle-aged Customer: “Fine! That’s everything. Just bring us the bill.”

(As I leave to go to the kitchen and deliver her complaints, I hear the elderly customer berating the middle-aged one.)

Elderly Customer: “Shame on you, a grown woman! I didn’t raise you to be a greedyguts!”

Related:
Necessity Is The Mother Of Intervention

PINheaded, Part 3

| Brisbane, Australia | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

(In Australia when you pay by card, you can either use a pin number or sign for your purchase if you pay by card. Regardless, you need to have your card on you.)

Me: “Okay, so the total is $17.”

Customer: *comes up $2 short* “Oh, I don’t have enough. I’ll just run to my car to get the $2.”

Me: “Oh, here, I’ll save the transaction and keep your bags back here for you.”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll just pay with my bank card!”

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

Customer: “I have… a pin.”

Me: “Alrighty, then. Did you have your card?”

Customer: “Yes.” *stares at me*

Me: “Ma’am, you have to put your card in the machine.”

Customer: “I HAVE A PIN! I DON’T SIGN!”

Me: “Ma’am, you have to put your card in the machine for it to take the payment.”

(The customer mutters something about getting the $2 and walks off. I save the order and continue serving other customers. Returning with her money, the woman proceeds to cut the line and slams the correct money on the counter. I process the payment and think she’s about to leave when she starts yelling again.)

Customer: “So, you’re telling me I have to keep my card with me all the time to pay, even though I have a pin?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The computer can’t process the payment unless the card is in the machine. It doesn’t matter if you have a pin or sign for it.”

Customer: “BUT I HAVE A PIN!” *storms off*

Related:
Pinheaded, Part 2
PINheaded

O, Canaduh, Part 2

| Niagara Falls, NY, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel

(This story takes place at a mall about five minutes from the USA/Canada border. Today, I am working at the register. A Canadian customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Ugh! I hate this country!”

Me: “Hello, welcome to [store]. May I ask why?”

Customer: “It’s so hard to tell the value of your money. You should color code it like we do in Canada!”

Me: “Well, if you look on all four corners on either side of the bill, the numbers you see denote the dollar value of the bill. You can also look at the bottom of either side of the bill, or to the right side of the face on the bill.”

Customer: “Ugh, why do you Americans have to make everything so difficult?!”

Related:
O, Canaduh