Archive for 2012

Jump to page:

A Bun In The Oven, Part 2

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Related | October 14, 2012

(I am 4 years old, and my mum has woken me up around 10pm to tell me my new baby cousin has just been born.)

Mum: “Good news! You have a new baby cousin. It’s a girl, and her name is Fiona Kate.”

(The next morning…)

Mum: “Do you remember me coming and telling you the news last night?”

Me: “Yes, my baby cousin was born.”

Mum: “And do you remember her name?”

Me: “Yes! Banana Cake!”

Related:
A Bun In The Oven

Stumbling With Chivalry

| Armidale, NSW, Australia | Romantic | October 14, 2012

(My boyfriend and I are at my 21st birthday party. A fair way into it, when most people are blind drunk, a guy stumbles and almost pushes me over. My boyfriend sees this coming and steps in the way, protecting me. After this, he turns to face me, smug.)

Boyfriend: “See that? See what I did there?”

Me: “My hero!”

Boyfriend: “I know. It was pretty gallant of me.”

(By the end of the night, the story was that a guy had come at me with a knife and my boyfriend had ridden in on a dinosaur, tackled the guy to the ground and had been presented with a glass chalice by the host of the party as a prize.)

Being Ageless Gets Old

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | October 13, 2012

(A customer comes to my till with a video game. This particular game is for ages 17 and up, but the customer looks no older than 14 or 15.)

Me: “Sir, this game is rated M. Are you over 17 years of age?”

Customer: *sighs* “Alright, hang on. I’ll be back in a minute.”

(The customer leaves the store. Later, he comes back with an older woman, who I assume is his mother.)

Woman: “Honey, which game is it that you wanted?”

Customer: “This one.”

(The customer comes back to my till once more, holding the game he was trying to purchase, with the older woman in tow.)

Me: “Ma’am, just so you know, this game is rated M, so it’s normally meant for people ages 17 and up.”

Woman: “Oh, that won’t be a problem.”

Me: “Just to double-check with you, ma’am, this game’s contents can be pretty violent, so it may not be appropriate for your son.”

Woman: *chuckles* “Oh, he’s not my son.”

Me: “I apologize. But once again, it might not be appropriate for your…nephew? Little brother? Cousin?”

Woman: “He’s none of those, silly! He’s my husband!”

Me: “Whaaaaaaaa?”

(The customer then pulls out his driver’s license, which I carefully examine. According to his date of birth, he’s 33 years old.)

Me: “Okay, so you had ID. Why didn’t you just show me that?”

Customer: “Look at how short and baby-faced I am! If I showed you my ID from the beginning, you would probably think it was fake!”

Me: “Fair enough, you got me there. I mean no disrespect by this, but I did think you were about 14.”

Customer: “Yeah, looking like this is both a blessing and a curse. I even quit drinking because it’s too much of a hassle to buy beer!”

(The customer pays for his game and leaves, while his wife is tries to stifle her laughter.)

1 Thumbs
3,926
VOTES

What’s Another Word For Wrong Major

| UK | Right | October 13, 2012

(A girl and her mother are shopping for cookware for her to take to college.)

Girl: “Do you have any…” *snaps her hand open and closed like a puppet*

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Girl: “You know…” *does puppet hands again* “…for cooking.” *to her mom* “Mum, I need some…” *hand motion*

Girl’s Mother: “Tongs?”

Girl: “Yes!”

(I show them where to find them while the mother teases the girl. I try to change the subject as the girl is obviously embarrassed.)

Me: “So, you need this stuff for college?”

Girl: “Yeah.”

Me: “What are you studying?”

(The girl turns bright red and both her and her mother start laughing.)

Girl’s Mother: “She’s going to be studying English!”

1 Thumbs
1,491
VOTES

Why Hello, Kessika

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Working | October 13, 2012

(Note: I’m a patient in the hospital after shattering my leg. My sisters call a local florist to order flowers for me.)

Sister: “Please address these to Jessika. It’s spelled with a K. J-E-S-S-I-K-A.”

Sales Clerk: “Jessika with a K. Got it!”

(They arrived addressed to “Kessica.”)

Related:
Why Hello, Pheven (Not Always Right)
Let Me Phpell It Out For You

Page 280/1,208First...278279280281282...Last