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A Man Of Few Words

| England, UK | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am working in the candy bar and am finalizing a group’s order.)

Me: “What size drink do you want?”

Customer: “Sprite.”

Me: “Size?”

Customer: “Sprite.”

Me: “Size?”

Customer: “Sprite!”

Me: “Size?”

Customer: “SPRITE.”

Me: “SIZE?!”

Customer: “SPRITE!”

(At this point, the customer smashes his fist on the bench and storms off, leaving his mates looking very awkward and embarrassed. Long story short: he wanted a large.)

Related:
A Woman Of Few Words

Not Seeing The Problem Here

| Tampa Bay, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

(I am a server at a rather nice restaurant in the downtown area. It’s New Year’s Eve and a couple in their forties are enjoying the after-meal cocktails while waiting for the midnight fireworks.)

Me: “How are the drinks?”

Customer: “Great, thanks.”

Me: “Anything else that I can get for you at the moment?”

Customer: “I’m fine.”

Customer’s Wife: “I’ll have another glass of wine, please.”

Me: “No problem at all—”

Customer: “You know, I really hate people that use that term ‘No problem.’ It’s as if to say you doing your job is an inconvenience. You should just do it.”

Me: “My apologies, sir. It’s merely a turn of phrase. I will get your drink right away.”

(I walk off, a little irritated, but otherwise still smiling. Some time goes by without incident and this table continues to get drinks up until close, at which point the customer approaches me as I’m doing some side work.)

Customer: “Hey, I think I was being a bit of a jerk earlier with that whole “No problem” thing. My wife made me come over and apologize.”

Me: “Oh, it’s fine, sir.”

Customer: “No, really, I’m sorry about that!”

Me: *without thinking* “It’s no problem, sir.”

(We both realize what I’ve said and the the customer stares at me, but he bites his tongue and shakes my hand before walking away. His wife just behind him? Cracking up!)

Who Wants To Call Out The Answer

| Poole, UK | Technology

(A customer calls to inquire about location services/maps on his smartphone.)

Customer: “So, how do I get it to tell me where to go?”

Me: “Well, it’s Google Maps, so it’ll show your location, but it won’t give your step-by-step instructions as you drive or walk.

Customer: “So, what, you’re saying there’s no satellite navigation on the phone?”

Me: “No, sorry!”

Customer: “Then what’s the point of a phone?!”