Archive for 2012

Jump to page:

What A BS Degree

, | The Netherlands | Bigotry, School

(I’ve been helping a student from China get her books for her Master’s programme. Her English is fine, but she has a strong accent. After I’ve finished helping her, the next customer steps up.)

Customer: “If that’s how she speaks English, she’s going to have serious trouble with Dutch. She’ll be useless in class!”

Me: “Actually, her courses are all in English, so she won’t have to learn Dutch.”

Customer: “What? That’s ridiculous! They’re making all these courses in English to let lazy foreigners get in easily. What about us, hmm? We have to put up with having to speak a foreign language in our own country just so she can come here and basically get handed a place at university by the stupid management. I bet she’ll get a job here, too. Everyone seems to think it’s more prestigious to hire some foreigner than someone who actually knows the language and the culture and everything!”

Me: “… Anyway, let’s get your books. What is your major?”

Customer: “International relations.”

This Apple Doesn’t Foul Far From The Tree

| Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a community college library. I am passing through the kid’s room, where students often leave their children while they study, when I witness a small boy push a girl down over a toy.)

Little Boy: *to the little girl* “F***ing C**t!!”

(Shocked and offended by his foul language, I march straight into the room, snatch him up by the arm, and physically drag him, bawling and squalling into the main library, where his mother is talking on her cell phone.)

Me: “I’m going to tell your mom EXACTLY what you said to that little girl—”

Mom: *into her phone* “Hold on…” *to me* “Hey! HEY! What the F*** are you doing to my boy!? F***ING B***H!”

Teaching A Righteous Dimwit Is Stressful

, | USA | Geeks Rule, Language & Words

(My friend and I are really big Doctor Who fans, and we are also crafty. One day, she makes me a T.A.R.D.I.S. bracelet out of duct tape. FYI: the T.A.R.D.I.S. is the Doctor’s transport and is in the shape of big, blue police box. I am working in the drive-thru when this took place.)

Me: “Hello, that is going to be [price].”

Customer: *hands me her money*

Me: “Your change is [amount].”

Customer: “What an interesting bracelet!”

Me: “Oh, thank you. A friend of mine made it.”

Customer: “What is it supposed to be?”

(I’m holding my hand out so that she can take a better look at it.)

Me: “It’s a Tardis.”

Customer: *blank look*

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “That is just terrible!”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “Using the ‘R’ word isn’t bad enough for you kids? Now you have to come up with some slang term? That is terrible!”

Me: “The… ‘R’ word?”

Customer: “RETARD!”

Me: “Ma’am, the Tardis is a shop from a sci-fi show… not slang for retard.”

Customer: “Don’t you give me any excuses, little missy. You are in a lot of trouble. Wearing something to promote calling retards retarded is despicable. I need to speak to your manager!”

(Despite trying to explain otherwise, my manager had to give her a free coupon to keep her from calling corporate to complain. I also can’t wear the bracelet to work anymore. It sometimes sucks being a nerdy girl in a small town.)